Into The West
by ProfessorFerrars3256
Summary: Healer-in-training Hermione Granger is tasked with the care of one former, curmudgeonly professor Severus Snape, eventually leading to common respect and understanding. AU epilogue of DH. HEA for my favorite couple. EWE
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I own nothing you recognize. This is my first SS/Hg fic directly after the battle, so it's an AU for the epilogue to DH. I've had fun with this one, spending more time trying to figure out what Snape would be like had he survived. Please let me know what you think.

Prologue:

Racing up the stairs to the Astronomy tower, Hermione almost tripped four times before finally getting into the open air, smacking her and licking her face wildly, forcing her hair to tussle each step she took towards the edge. Fear crept in for a moment as she peered over the thick stone banisters, jagged rocks and still water from the lake below would meet her if she slipped but a little, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered. All she wanted to do was cry and feel sorry for herself, her immature emotions and apparent naïveté. Nothing about her return to Hogwarts to finish her NEWTs had gone as planned and now it was far more complicated, growing increasingly more by the day.

"You shouldn't be up here." She heard from her left, the last person she expected to see and one she was trying to avoid at all costs. Severus Snape motioned her away from the edge, but Hermione stood steadfast, her eyes wild and full of the same spirit that had survived the war mere months before.

"You shouldn't be either, as it were, but here we are." Pointing to the wound at his neck, bandaged tightly, making it hard for him to talk and breath normally. He motioned again, as though this time her stubbornness would cease and she'd follow direction.

"I just want to be alone, please. You aren't my professor anymore, alert Headmistress McGonagall if you have to, but I need to clear my head." It annoyed her in the moment, knowing she was nineteen and attending school, when Ron and Harry were off in auror school, and there was still the problem of the man next to her.

"Freeze, then." He turned on his heel and began descending the stairs, sometimes two at a time, using more strength than he'd been able to conjure in weeks.

"Insufferable man!" She swore under her breath, slamming her fist against the cold stone. It took everything she had not to chase him down the stairs and tell him exactly what was bothering her because it weighed so heavily just then. But, she stayed and let the chill invade her bones, pondering deeply when it had happened, that she'd begun thinking of him as a man, a complicated and interesting man who took his tea with lemon, regardless of the kind, and was loathe to admit how much he enjoyed pumpkin pasties and the occasional chocolate frog, even Bertie Bott's every flavor beans, coaxing her to try them when he knew it was a nasty flavor.

The wind whirled through her hair once more, forcing her to step back and still against the edge, slowly sitting on the frozen ground. She felt stupid and immature, all the school girl she'd been years before with crushes on Viktor Krum and even Ron, but with Snape, it was demonstrably different, it was impossible, and it froze her heart more than sitting on the cold stone of the Astronomy Tower.

When she finally came down, he was waiting, standing at the door, a cup of tea in hand and his standard sneer.

"Enjoy yourself?"

"I always do." She replied sarcastically, walking passed him and down her usual path to the rooms set aside for all students who'd returned to finish their NEWTs and one surly professor who was no longer head of Slytherin but would be once he was well enough again. She unlocked her door with a quiet alohomora and stepped through, turning to him as he did the same, their eyes met and she bit her tongue, holding it all back again.

"Goodnight, Hermione." He dipped his head slightly as he bowed to her and she laughed at his feigned pretension. It made her feel even worse; she absolutely had to get over her feelings for him.

Chapter 1:

It all began after the battle destroyed a great deal of the school and many former students, professors, and well-meaning witches and wizards offered to help and rebuild, making sure the school was ready for students again come September. The night after the final battle, Hermione worked with Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing, her knowledge of restorative potions and spells helpful enough to remain. Everything had seemed to move in slow motion, each student or teacher brought in assessed and aided quickly, but in a reel as though Hermione was watching it all happen from afar. That was until they brought Snape in. She was sure that he'd died in the Shrieking Shack after Voldemort sent Nagini against him, but there he was, clinging to life and at the mercy of those deemed capable to help.

Everyone bustled about him, potions poured down his throat, blood replenishing aids administered and finally a strict binding to stop the continued bleeding. All she felt capable of doing in the moment was holding his hand, so that's what she did. For hours she sat next to him, this man who had sacrificed so much for them, and held his hand, running her thumb across his knuckles over and over. When their work was finished for the night, Hermione reluctantly left for five minutes to freshen up, fearing that leaving him alone would mean certain death, so she pulled a cot over and slept next to him, desperate to save at least one person from the horribleness of the battle. There was something about being close to someone else that made her ease. She still felt the brave and fierce Gryffindor she'd always been, just a little worse for the wear.

The next morning, when she woke he was still unconscious, his bandages needing changed every couple hours and potions administered. Being busy and helpful have Hermione purpose; purpose like she'd felt hunting horcruxes with Harry and Ron, except this time she was doing this alone. Sure, Madame Pomfrey and other professors were there to aid the ill, but she felt independent of her boys for the first time in a long time. Often, her thoughts turned to the kiss she shared with Ron in the chamber of secrets, how she should've felt more for him than she did, and it worried her that perhaps he'd gotten the wrong impression.

Within weeks, Hermione had taken to helping Madame Pomfrey so exclusively that she'd been offered an apprenticeship and also asked McGonagall, acting headmistress, if she could sit her NEWTs when term ended, Neville, Luna, and many others joining her. It just didn't feel right to leave Hogwarts just yet, not when her future prospects would always be limited without NEWT scores recorded, and all her hard work, she felt wasted without proof. So she toiled in the infirmary, helping Madame Pomfrey and assessing patients, brewing potions, and whenever needed, helping restore and rebuild the school, and once school was in session again, she attended classes twice a week while also completing her was mindless work sometimes, but she felt useful and never worried about the elements she couldn't control. After applying for Auror school, Ron and Harry came to celebrate at Hogwarts before leaving.

"So you have to change bandages?" Ron asked, looking a bit squeamish as he tore into a plate of kippers.

"Yes, and do spells and brew potions, my main patient is Snape of course, though I don't know why he hasn't been moved to St. Mungos."

"Dad says Shacklebolt doesn't want the notoriety right now, something about even if Snape is innocent, bad press or something." Hermione and Harry both rolled their eyes, even if Snape wasn't a particularly good person, he'd still sacrificed a great deal for the Order of the Phoenix and for Harry.

"Well, I don't mind taking care of him, it's better than a desk job at the Ministry any day." She snapped back, sipping her pumpkin juice and staring holes into Ron's kippers.

"No need to get touchy." Ron replied, his mouth full. Harry looked over to Professor McGonagall and excused himself, giving Ron the perfect opportunity to speak to Hermione.

"Listen, while I'm gone, I think we should cool things off." She wasn't expecting that and in fact it couldn't have been more welcome as she felt, with each day, that her attraction had been misplaced.

"I agree. You need to focus on school and I do, too." He gave a small smile and she felt relieved, finally able to release the breath she'd been holding since he sat down. They finished in silence and she said goodbye, watching them walk on the path to Hogsmeade Village. She climbed the stairs back into the infirmary and continued where she'd left off, turning Snape so he didn't form of bedsores and reapplying his bandages. The bleeding was less severe, but the scarring was bad, the worst she'd seen of anyone in and out of the infirmary since the battle. One of the most difficult things she'd had to do, in terms of her own sensibilities, was washing her former professor. Yet, soon it became just as commonplace as anything else she did, she simply focused and completed to task with the same precision she gave to all other tasks, though it did sometimes cross her mind that she'd seen him completely naked.

As she'd started to do each night, Hermione opened the Lord of the Rings, and continued reading to him where she'd left off, noting that in muggle psychology hearing a familiar voice or being spoken to helped patients in comas recover more frequently. Placing her book next to the bedside, she wiped his face once more, took his left hand in hers, and squeezed it, wanting so much for him to wake up.

"Ms. Granger, Professor Flitwick requires a draught of dreamless sleep, would you carry this to him?" Madame Pomfrey asked, holding out the bottle. Hermione reluctantly let Snape's hand go and took the bottle to the elderly Ravenclaw, just as thankful and considerate as all the other professors whom she had helped. Once finished, she made herself retreat to her rooms and study some texts before bed, trying not to think of Ron and Harry leaving for Auror school or the fact that students would be returning soon.

Around two am she wandered back to the infirmary and checked on Snape before going to the lounge for a quick snack. She happened upon Minerva McGonagall, surprisingly.

"You're up rather late or is it early?" McGonagall surmised, noting the dark circles under Hermione's eyes.

"I haven't been to sleep yet, kind of stuck in my studying," Hermione paused and finally asked what she had wanted to ask many times,"Do you think Professor Snape will ever wake up?" Minerva's face dropped, thinking of him also made her weary.

"I do hope so, we have a great deal to thank him for. And he should be very grateful to you, Madame Pomfrey has told me of your excellent care." Minerva sipped her gilly water and patted Hermione's hand.

"I hope so, too. Well, goodnight, Headmistress, I should be getting to bed." With that, she wandered to her room and finally found sleep, dreaming of a rebuilt Hogwarts, with students free to study and learn without the threat of Voldemort, but as she was wont to do, Hermione, half asleep, wandered back to the cot next to Snape and slept there. When she finally woke, Hermione began her day the same as she had for weeks, checking on Snape, brewing or finishing potions, and fetching ingredients when needed from the Forbidden Forest or elsewhere on the grounds. That night when she returned to give Snape his nightly potions, after wiping his face and repositioning his head, she squeezed his hand as she normally did and felt the slightest squeeze back, though she wasn't convinced it had been real. She tried again and there it was, he was responding. Instantly, relief and happiness filled her, causing her eyes to tear, something they were doing was working and she felt sure he would recover.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for reading. I own nothing you recognize, simply enjoy writing my favorite couple.

HEA: Happily Ever After

Thank you, Marriage1988- I'm glad you liked the first part! Thank you for reviewing!

Thank you, guest reviews! I hope you continue to like this story.

Chapter 2

The following morning, having slept next to Snape on the cot the entire night, she checked his vital signs again and then started his bath, after his morning round of potions. There was something so satisfying and relaxing about caring for another person, a feeling Hermione hadn't realized she craved until her travels with Harry and Ron, hunting for horcruxes and being prepared for the worse at every angle. It was meticulous, her washing, every inch of his skin cleaned and preserved, her hand motions soft and delicate, trying her best to keep him from any complications. When it had all started, her care for him, it had made her blush each time she was forced to undress him and clean areas she'd never even seen on a man before, but by the third or fourth time, it had all become commonplace to her, natural almost. It was as though she knew his body as well as her own. Although he didn't stir, she could tell there was more activity in his brain, his eyes in REM and every now and then, a slight stir of his toes or fingers, each movement an indication that his brain functions weren't completely lost. She held onto that hope like a badge of courage, waking each day in hopes that it would be the day he finally woke.

After reading to him for a while, Hermione went down to the Great Hall to eat lunch and study some healing skills for her first practical exam, worried perhaps she wouldn't pass and Madame Pomfrey would ask her to leave the apprenticeship. Sitting across from Neville and Luna, she cracked her books open and slowly ate her shepherd's pie, each morsel savory and delicious as the cooking had always been.

"How is Professor Snape?" Luna asked, pursuing her Quibbler and snacking on a cherry pastie.

"He squeezed my hand last night, I was shocked. I think he'll wake up soon, but he still has a long recovery. The skin around his carotid artery is very thin and we worry it won't hold." With that, Hermione turned to a section of her text on skin grafts and read each word more than once, drowning out the ambient noise of all the students enjoying their lunch.

"You've a letter from Ron, here." Ginny called out as owl post arrived. Hermione took it and bookmarked her text with it, then finished her pumpkin juice before scurrying back to the infirmary, hoping to get more studying in before brewing that afternoon.

Most days the infirmary was a ghost town, just she and Madame Pomfrey, bustling around small scrapes and bruises, and then taking care of Snape, though some days it was simply giving him potions and changing bandages.

"Poppy, I'm heading to the lounge, would you like anything?" Hermione called out, at Madame Pomfrey's office door. She saw Poppy shake her head and then went on her way, winding down to the new lounge created for returning students in their own form of a common room, their rooms more like studio apartments than dormitories. Across from her room, she inspected the eventual rooms for Snape, who would not return to the dungeons until he was fully recovered for fear of infection. His rooms were decorated as she imagined his dungeon rooms had been, emerald velvet and severe black, books and his cauldrons. Taking his potions texts from the shelf next to his eventual bed, she read through his notes and made a mental note herself to look into his adjustments to the dreamless sleep draught.

When she finally returned to the infirmary, Hermione took a damp cloth and washed his face, his hands, and the area around the snake bites, replacing his bandages and administering his nightly potions, putting the rest of her dreamless sleep potion in stasis as she waited to see movement from him. When she began reading, she noticed his head tilted to her voice, in effort to test her theory, she switched sides of the room, reading from many angles and found that he was indeed listening to her, even if unconsciously. It was another major sign his brain was functioning and it made her heart happy; at least what she was doing was working.

The next morning, having slept next to him again holding his hand, she woke to one very dark eye looking at her severely. Suddenly, she jumped up, letting go of his hand, but his eye closed as quickly as she'd noticed it. 'Perhaps I am losing my mind', she thought, adjusting his pillows and repositioning his person, turning him slightly, propping his back with pillows and cushioning charms, hoping he would open his eyes again, but he didn't.

"Update, Ms. Granger?" Poppy said, chart in hand doing her morning rounds.

"When I woke up this morning, his eye was open." Hermione responded, noting Poppy's happy expression.

"That's happy news, indeed, Hermione. I am sure he will wake up soon." They both stared at him, looking thinner than they'd ever seen him. It hit Hermione hard how many times Madame Pomfrey had had to fix him up over the years, all of his returns from meetings, every wound healed by the same woman.

"Does he normally heal quickly?" Hermione asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"Yes, thankfully, he's had years of contusions and nerve damage, it's a wonder he's made it this far, truly. When he wakes, I will make sure he understands how hard you've worked to take care of him." A smile blanketed Hermione's face, her attention-seeking, people-pleasing personality felt rewarded in the best way. It only took a few minutes to finish his chart for the morning, so she went to the brewing station and found that she had orders from all around the school, students who were suffering from stress and shock following the battle and teachers who had regular orders. When she'd been a regular student, she hadn't imagined her professors in need of so much attention, but then she recalled that many of them had survived three major conflicts, like McGonagall, and their ailments were the result of much distress and strife.

After dinner amongst some Gryffindors and other returned students, Hermione showed Minerva her research regarding the skin graft Snape would need when he was further healed and they discussed her working with another healer temporarily when it was time to learn that particular skill.

"Poppy has virtually no experience with skin grafting, but I would think she would welcome the expertise you would bring. I will contact the mediwizard counsel and find an appropriate healer for you to work with, it would be about three to six weeks depending on the healer." Hermione nodded, not wanting to miss any classes or NEWT study time, but desperately wanting to be able to fully heal Snape if she was able. She only attended classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, her shortened lessons truncated by many hours of study, but she knew a long absence would compromise her NEWT scores if she wasn't careful.

When she finally made it to the infirmary for the evening, she told herself she needed to sleep in her own room and spend time studying, but it was difficult to leave her patient, who she was sure would awaken soon. She didn't want him to be alone and confused when he finally regained consciousness. Wiping his face, neck, and hands as she did every night, rubbing eucalyptus and lavender over and over on his hands, she noted a sudden sound of fright escape his lips, his eyes rapidly moving; she was sure he was having a vivid dream. Crawling next to him on the bed, she gently tried to rouse him, to help him move on from his nightmare, but he shook against her, his arms not moving far off the bed, but jerking, her shoulder hitting her lip as she tried to restrain him. Finally, her lip bleeding and mouth quite sore, Snape calmed, looking as peaceful as as he had for months. Staying in position, she opened her book and continued to read to him, dabbing a cold rag to her lips as she read, trying to soothe her own nerves as much as his.


	3. Chapter 3

AN:Thank you for reading! I own nothing you recognize!

Chapter 3

Each day, he showed improvement, but it wasn't until a week later that Hermione noticed he was responding more and more to her voice. On an early Thursday morning, leaving for class with Professor Flitwick, Hermione put her potions in stasis and checked on Snape one more time, noting that his pillows had shifted. When she returned hours later, he had turned completely, his bandage buried beneath a pillow curled around his arm. She gently moved his arm, slowly moving the pillow back into position and checking his bandage for leaking and saw there was blood all over the sheets and his side. Grabbing the basin and water, she began removing his shirt, cleaning the blood with a spell from the sheets and pillow. As she unbuttoned his shirt, she saw the blood had spread all over his chest, so she wet the cloth and began washing as she normally did, until she heard a faint squeal of protestation. At first, she couldn't make the words out, but then it became more clear, though still very quiet.

"Just what the bloody hell do you think you are doing?" He barked, his voice scratchy and bleak, weaker than she'd ever heard him.

"My job, professor, you must stay still, I need to clean off the blood." Her heart beat rapidly against her chest, he was awake and coherent, demanding and surly as she expected.

"Unhand me, you have no right to do this!" He yelled, his voice still cracking, his eyes finally opening, meeting hers in defiant rage. It took all of her strength to hold his arms still, to stop him from thrashing. She called for Poppy, but it was late and her office was dark.

"Professor, stop this instant. I have to change your bandage and clean the blood." He was strong for for someone who'd been in a coma for five months, so it took all of her might to keep him still. "I will hex you if you don't stop, please, I know you're confused. Let me finish and I'll explain."

"Indecent, insufferable..." His adjectives compounded, but he finally slowed his arms and legs, allowing her to rinse the cloth and wipe his chest down his left side, pulling the waist of his pants down. His quick draw of breath stopped her.

"Does that hurt?" She inquired.

"No, it does not you insolent girl, I simply do not feel comfortable with you touching me as such." Hermione couldn't stop her eyes from rolling, this was not how she had imagined him waking up, she'd hoped he would be nicer for sure.

"Who do you imagine has been caring for you all this time, Professor Snape? None of this is new to me, trust me." She pulled the rest of his waist down, trying not to expose him, but needing to clean his hip and thigh. His embarrassment radiated across his skin, jumping slightly at each touch of her mingle hands.

"You've been in a coma for five months, by the way. I've been here since they brought you in and have cared for you, so please do not be troubled. " She finally said, breaking the awkward silence between his random sighs and her tuts. Finally, free of the blood, Hermione removed his bandage and reapplied a new one, trying her best to be gentle around his wounds that still seemed so very fragile.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I would simply like to be alone." Hermione nodded, adjusting the healer-in-training badge on her apron and pushing her book from the nightstand, her wand tucked back into her waist and then looked to the cot where she normally slept, wondering if she should stay regardless.

"You cannot walk right now, Professor, so please don't try and if you'd like to sit up, please let me help you, you will be quite dizzy at first because blood flow is restricted on your left side due to the thin skin at your carotid artery. I will be here if you need me, for anything." She bowed slightly and began to pull the curtain so he could have privacy.

"I will take that under advisement, Ms. Granger." The sarcasm dripped from his voice, annoyed at her presence and embarrassed to need someone's help in so many ways. She continued to pull the curtain but instead of going to lie down, she walked to Poppy's quarters and woke her, telling her Snape was awake and surly. Hermione also alerted McGonagall, letting her know how violently he'd reacted to her aid.

"He is a difficult person, Hermione, quite difficult. You should not take anything he says personally, lord knows he's bitten my head off so many times it's a wonder I even consider him a friend at all." Hermione tried to heed McGonagall's words, but she felt slighted and idiotic, as though her expectations were so high, too high as usual for a stubborn and prideful Gryffindor.

"Here, drink this." Minerva poured her a shot of firewhisky and watched as Hermione hesitated only a little, downing the alcohol like an old pro.

Slightly lightheaded, she went back to her room,finally recalling the letter Ron had written; he'd met someone and wanted her to know before they all saw each other at Christmas or before someone else told her. Tears welled in her eyes, she felt supremely stupid. It was the worst end to a day she'd anticipated for weeks, all of her optimism about Snape flew out the window and was replaced with tentative fear, something she'd rarely felt in her life. And to top it all off, it was the first night she'd spent alone since she could recall.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: He's finally awake and surly as ever. Thanks for reading; I own nothing you recognize.

Chapter 4

His mood had not improved much when she woke up beyond the curtain next to him, a slight moan escaping his lips as he attempted to turn. She didn't even remember climbing the stairs to the infirmary to sleep next to him. Rubbing her eyes and yawning, she painted a fake smile on her face, adjusted her apron, and pulling the curtain back to find one angry professor.

"Gods, it wasn't a dream." He snapped, forcing his eyes to the ceiling and trying to pull the covers up, the surge of power he'd had the night before completely gone.

"Good morning to you as well, Professor." She tempered her voice, trying to be as courteous as she knew he deserved, even if he was being surly.

"I'm no longer your professor, Ms. Granger, I assume you know my name?" Her eyebrows shot up, he still refused to meet her eyes. "Besides, now that you've seen me completely nude, I believe calling me professor borders on some scandalous connotation, and I've scandal enough without adding pedophile to my ranks." 'I'm nineteen, that hardly makes you a pedofile', she thought. Without asking, she checked his bandage, then wiped his face and hands as she normally did, trying to focus and not show weakness. Some of the blood has matted in his hair, so she fetched the basin and warmed the water.

"I'm going to wash your hair, Prof...Severus." She stumbled over his name, so foreign to her tongue. As she helped him to the edge of the bed, his head hanging slightly off, cushioned at his neck, she wet his hair and started to lather, eliciting the oddest sound she'd ever heard from him, which in turn caused her to snort. Suddenly, his eyes rolled up to hers, as she took great pains to keep any soap or water from dripping.

"So this is what you're doing with your life?" His tone hadn't changed, he sounded as annoyed and put out as the night before.

"Based upon your tone, I assume you think this a worthless task?" She mused, risking his hair again and taking the basin to the cabinet, setting a towel at the base of his neck, careful to avoid his bandages.

"Just thought you'd be off with your lackeys, doing something noble at the Ministry, perhaps. Minerva told me they're in auror school." So McGonagall had been to visit.

"I'm learning a great deal more here than I would in auror school, sir. Besides, I am finishing my NEWTs and this apprenticeship, which will give me plenty of resources for future noble pursuits." Helping him sit up, she noted the immediate hand to his forehead and queasy-green look.

"I'm sorry, hold on." Cradling his head in her hands, she lowered the bed slightly and eased him down, marginally upright but not too far. His muffled sigh irritated her more than his caustic words.

"Is there something remiss in my care of you, Severus?" Her question was met with the first sincere look she'd seen from him, almost apologetic.

"You hover." He replied, forcing her to smile, even if he hadn't met it as a compliment.

"Well, lucky for you I have potions to brew and studying to finish. If you need anything, just call out, I'll be in Poppy's office." He nodded slowly and didn't pull his hand away as she patted it, fixing his blanket at his chest removing the towel from his hair.

Overwhelmed by her emotions, she began crying as soon as she crossed the threshold into the office. She couldn't do this every time he spoke to her severely and she certainly needed to grow a thicker skin if she ever hoped to work somewhere busier. Her courage was failing; she needed a boost.

The next morning, as a sweet house elf name Tippy finished feeding Snape some broth, Hermione carried in the basin, not eager to give him a bath now that he was fully awake.

"Already morning?" His voice carried through it the infirmary, neither of them looking forward to the task at hand.

"If you would few more comfortable, I can ask Madame Pomfrey to aid you or perhaps Neville? He has helped before." She thought she'd seen all of his nasty looks, but the one he gave her after saying Neville's name made her laugh. "I'm joking, Neville is not allowed in here unless he's hurt or supplying potion materials. But seriously, if you would feel more comfortable, I can wash areas you cannot reach and you can wash intimate areas." He nodded, his blood pressure obviously calming.

"That was a nasty joke, almost Slytherin of you." She took it as a compliment and removed his shirt gingerly, helping him with each sleeve. He still looked rather thin, the scars and wounds of his life more apparent when she was aware she was being watched. To make things more comfortable, she started with his back, gently moving the cloth in circular motions, helping him sit up with her left hand and washing with her right.

"You've a knot right here, do you mind if I massage it before it becomes worse?" Hermione asked, putting pressure on the knot.

"Now I get to acquiesce, nice." She assumed he meant yes, so handed him several pillows to help him lean forward as she worked the knot, trying not to bruise him or cause him pain. It struck her that she'd never touched someone else as much as she'd touched him, she probably knew his body scar for scar, wound for wound.

"Why did you choose this book, by the way?" He asked, fingering the Lord of the Rings as she finished up the massage.

"It's my favorite, besides I assumed you wouldn't want me reading my textbooks to you." Taking his hands, she started on his arms and chest, leaning him back, her arms holding him firmly, and moving all the pillows to prop him up.

"Why read to me at all?"

"Because it helped. When you were obviously distressed in dreams or other fits, my reading calmed you. And psychology shows that talking to patients in comas helps their brain function." He snorted.

"Do you ever slow down? Honestly, you're what, eighteen? Nineteen? Don't you want to be free of all this?" He was being too real for her in the moment, as she dampened the cloth and washed his stomach, drying him before answering.

"Nineteen. And do what, Severus? Go back to my muggle parents or take a desk job? How is that better than improving my mind. Yes, I'm nineteen, but going to parties and drinking insane amounts of alcohol before barfing up my meal doesn't sound as pleasant as some day being able to own my own home or perhaps traveling, writing or even specializing in something. There's nothing wrong with my choices." She felt wounded by his questions, the second time he'd brought it up. Gently he put his hand on hers to still it.

"I'm not trying to be rude, Ms. Granger-"

"Hermione."

"Hermione, I'm just…" But he stopped himself as she drew his blankets up, taking his pant legs and rolling them to his thighs. Willing herself to focus solely on his washing and not her own mind, she almost spilled the basin as she returned the cloth, but caught herself before dumping all of the water on the floor. Returning to his legs, she began washing his feet and heard a slight twittering from him.

"You're feet are ticklish, no wonder." She laughed, trying not to tickle him further.

"Meaning?"

"Sometimes, when I washed them before, you would kick me, you should see the nasty bruise I have right here." She motioned the her to ribcage, directly below her right breast. When she looked up to him, he had a strange look on his face, as though he'd like very much to see exactly where she was pointing, which made her blush profusely.

"Would you like me to continue or would you prefer I step away?" He contemplated her words for a moment, then waved her off, allowing her to release the breath she'd been holding. Poppy walked by, giving her a sweet smile, but Hermione could do nothing but think of the odd look he'd given her before. 'He hasn't seen a woman in ages, not like that.' She thought, wondering why suddenly it made it her rather pleased that he could see something attractive in her, even if it was fleeting.

When he called her her, she returned, giving him a clean shirt and fluffing his pillows again.

"I've bewitched a chair to float through the castle if you'd like for me to show you what's been rebuilt, your rooms, or to go outside, even, now that you're capable of sitting up for a time." He looked pleased, happy even for a moment.

"That would be agreeable."

"Is there anything you require now, before I continue my studies? Books, perhaps, or parchment? I've found a quill that will work for nerve damage. " She felt herself sounding too eager, so she tried to temper herself, but she couldn't help it, she enjoyed seeing him awake and alert.

"Well aren't you a fount of ingenuity." She rolled her eyes at him, took out the parchment and quill, some books he might like to read and pulled the curtain back since his bath was finished.

"I'll see you later, Severus. No walking." She pointed her finger at him and to emphasize her words, then left, ready to commit her brain to any other task.

Each morning he met her gaze with one of contempt, often it took him hours to be pleasant enough for her to have a regular conversation. Once she breached the dam of his aggression, she rather enjoyed talking to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Weeks passed before Snape could do more than an hour or so around the castle in his enchanted chair. Hermione enjoyed walking beside him, her confidence growing each day and her ability to temper his nasty tongue as well. Soon, it was as though she'd always such control over him, or at least the ability to thicken her skin. They spent their mornings and evenings together, and when Hermione wasn't in class, he even assisted her brewing every now and then. An understanding had formed between them, he wasn't kind or even cordial most of the time, but he had begun to question her less frequently and instead even complimented her occasionally.

At the Halloween feast, Ron and Harry came to visit on leave from school and to help dedicate the new quidditch pitch. She helped Severus down to the pitch, trailing him slightly as her shoes sank in the mud.

"Jolly good, here's Snape." Ron muttered as Hermione and Snape came into the quidditch pitch and stayed next to them.

"I'm glad you're better, Professor. "Harry remarked, patting Snape's arm before hitting Ron for snorting.

"Good to hear you're surviving auror school, not for the weak." Harry and Snape found themselves easily enough in conversation, Snape aware that Harry knew everything, they all did, they'd all seen his memories. Hermione was just happy to see Snape talking with other people and getting outdoors.

"Priscilla's family is doing some huge party tonight, so we're leaving a bit early. You don't mind, do you, 'Mione." Ron asked, tepidly as the Slytherin quidditch team flew a new formation.

"Of course not, you'll have a blast. I need to study anyway, my second practical is in a week." They continued in relative pleasant conversation, when she noticed Snape seemed tired, so she gave them both hugs and kisses their cheeks, trudging her way back to the castle in the mud.

Thanks to the physical therapy, Snape could now lift himself in and out of the chair, but she still liked to help when she could or when he'd let her. The day before he'd moved to his quarters, but she still helped him the mornings and evenings, making sure he took his potions and kept his bandage clean. In the mornings, they often spent an hour or more on physical rehabilitation, trying to help him regain muscle mass after being in a coma for so long. Often his nerve damage made it difficult to walk for long or even steady himself with a walking stick, but he was growing stronger by the day.

That evening, when she knocked on his door, she found him already dressed for bed and his spectacles on for reading.

"My eyes are sore, could you possibly read this for me. Shacklebolt writes like a toddler." Walking to his side, she took the letter and saw he was receiving an Order of Merlin, first class for his war efforts, she'd received the same letter that morning.

"Well that'll be something else to collect dust." But she could see, plainly on his face, that he wasn't as flippant as he sounded.

"We've almost finished LoTR, would you like me to continue?" He nodded and she began, almost choking herself up when she got to the end, thinking of losing friends and family to the war efforts.

"I should've known you'd cry." He joked, handing her a handkerchief.

"Pardon my beating heart, Severus." She closed the book and wiped her eyes, trying to forget Remus and Tonks, Fred and Mad-eye. It weighed on her heavily.

"This doesn't have anything to do with Mr. Weasley, I hope." She was surprised by his candidness, he rarely brought up anything personal, especially in her life.

"Of course not." She replied too quickly, her those still running a bit.

"He seemed rather worried you might hex him earlier, it's none of my business, but…"

"You're right, it is none of your business." She set the book down and left his room, the door clanking loudly against its hinges and hiding behind her own. Why did he need to be so personal when she couldn't handle it and his tone often so nasty, when she least expected it. It was as though all of the cordiality they'd built up would vanish in an instant. All she could see were the faces of those they'd lost and Ron being with another girl was the least of her concerns. Some days she couldn't handle it when Snape was too cruel or too kind, there was almost no balance between his moods. At one turn, he would be commenting on her insufferable hovering and then another, asking her to help him, sometimes even in a kind voice. Often in those moments, the feelings she'd bottled up about her care for him spilled over and she had to escape before she made a scene.

A light tapping at her door broke her reverie.

"You've left your arithmancy book on my stand again." She was shocked to see him walking, aided by a walking stick but still walking. Embarrassment flooded her and she took the book without meeting his eyes, thanking him quietly. She had nothing to be embarrassed about, he'd gotten personal and she wasn't quite prepared for it.

"Dry your tears, you have much life yet to be lived." He was obviously convinced she was pining over Ron Weasley.

"I'm not mooning over a boy; I was thinking about Dumbledore and Remus, others, sorry I'm melancholy, every time something here gets fixed, it floods back." His took a seat in the chair opposite her fireplace and beckoned her to join him.

"You will always bear the weight of loss, it ebbs and flows, but it always there. Be thankful you aren't the one who actually killed Dumbledore, imagine that weight." Tears refreshed and she lost it all over again.

"Why do you do that? I was almost dried up." She pushed his arm, a little too hard and his walking stick fell from his lap. She sprang up to grab it, kneeling before him in tears.

"I enjoy watching you squirm, Hermione, it's so very easy pushing your buttons." Rolling her eyes, she poured herself some pumpkin juice and then a shot of firewhisky.

"Don't mind me, I'll just be over here enjoying a nice alcoholic beverage and not thinking about how pathetic my life is compared to yours." He actually laughed at her joke, motioning for his own glass.

"You aren't allowed, Severus, not until we finish your graft." He frowned, scowling at her as she downed another.

"Now you're just teasing me." She paused, looking at him over the brim of her glass and remembering what it was like to bathe him, now that she no longer helped. Her blood pulsed, she knew if she stood still she would hear it beating through her veins. Instead of shying away as she normally did, she watched him as she sat down and finished her drink, wiping her mouth with the last sip. He'd made he evening personal and two shots of alcohol had certainly clouded her judgement.

"I'll be leaving for a few weeks before Christmas." She said, breaking the spell. He looked melancholy himself for a moment, then tapped the edge of the arm of her chair.

"Whatever for?"

"More training, so I can complete your graft, and hopefully give you full freedom again."

"What will I do without your infernal reminders, 'don't eat that, you can't drink this, sit in the shower, change the bandage, stretch your muscles, and bloody hell, take your potions'." His impression of her was almost spot on, even the inflection of her voice was present in his. She knew he was joking, but her pride was wounded and her sensitivity showed, softening him for a moment before they were both startled by a knock at her door. It was Harry.

"Harry, what a surprise. I thought you were going with Ron?" Hermione gave him a tight hug and invited him to sit, squeezing next to him on the same seat.

"It's a long story." He said, eyeing Snape who took that as his cue, saying goodnight to them. Her spirits fell once more as he left and she realized he was bricking such a fixture in her life, that she longed for his presence. Did this always happen with patients or was it simply her own feelings for Snape? Harry broke her train of thought.

"Actually, I wanted to see Ginny and also you, I feel like we've not seen each other in ages and Ron, well he wanted to be alone." Hermione took his meaning immediately, taking her arithmancy book back to her desk before joining him again. They spent a good two hours talking about everything, from him asking Ginny to marry him at Christmas to her seminar in grafting. After she had talked about her precarious relationship with Snape, Harry finally said.

"You seem awfully preoccupied with Snape." Harry finally said, as they curled up on her bed, like they'd done so many times while hunting for horcruxes.

"It's a pity, really, I know it's folly. I've gotten too close." She replied, yawning loudly and stretching.

"It's weird, but seeing you together earlier, it's like you're an old married couple. He seems different." Hermione agreed, he was different and her budding attraction and feelings for him made her uncomfortable. The months they'd spent, even when he was in a coma, made her level of comfort with him far more than she ever thought it would be when he was simply her professor.

The next morning,exhausted, Hermione roused from sleep and noticed her copy of Lord of the Rings was on her side table and Harry was still next to her, snoring loudly. Had Snape come in sometime during the night or even early that morning.

She snapped awake then, he'd seen Harry in her bed and she was late, so late for his potions. Haphazardly throwing her hair into a braid, she drank some orange juice and tied her apron, slaking across the hall to his room, knocking three times. She heard his shuffle to the door. Even though she didn't have to answer to him, her embarrassment showed keenly on her face.

"Oh, look who decided to show up finally." He wasn't joking, obviously in pain and irritable, Snape waved her off. She pulled his potions from her bag and measured them out.

"I'm so sorry, I haven't overslept like that in ages." She apologized, handing him the potions and then checking his bandage, mere inches from his face.

"Late nights and alcohol will do that." She didn't like his tone or the implication, forcing him to sit, she cleaned the areas of his bite and then began rebandanging him, pushing him slightly back into his seat. He did not seem to enjoy her heavy hand.

"Aren't you the one always telling me to enjoy myself? She tried a joke, but he looked no less severe. It offended her, then. Who was he to judge her behavior after she'd waited on him, cared for him, healed him for months.

"I did not mean to imply your enjoyment should include rushing into…" but she stopped him, angrier than she'd ever been at him.

"You did come in my rooms, didn't you? Well not that it's your business, Severus, but Harry is like my brother, I would never sleep with him. And I resent that you think me that, that, that...loose." She finished the bandage, measured out another dose of his medicines and turned on her heel.

"You're insufferable!" She yelled, slamming his door and making her way to class, untying her apron and stuffing it inside her bag. The rest of the day was fraught with annoyance, nothing she did was right, each potion brewed failed and her mind continued to wander. She sent Madame Pomfrey to make sure Severus had his potions and then climbed the Astronomy tower. She had been right, she'd let herself get way too close to him.

" _You shouldn't be up here." She heard from her left, the last person she expected to see and one she was trying to avoid at all costs. Severus Snape motioned her away from the edge, but Hermione stood steadfast, her eyes wild and full of the same spirit that had survived the war mere months before._

 _"You shouldn't be either, as it were, but here we are." Pointing to the wound at his neck, bandaged tightly, making it hard for him to talk and breath normally. He motioned again, as though this time her stubbornness would cease and she'd follow direction._

 _"I just want to be alone, please. You aren't my professor anymore, alert Headmistress McGonagall if you have to, but I need to clear my head." It annoyed her in the moment, knowing she was nineteen and attending school, when Ron and Harry were off in auror school, and there was still the problem of the man next to her._

 _"Freeze, then." He turned on his heel and began descending the stairs, sometimes two at a time, using more strength than he'd been able to conjure in weeks._

 _"Insufferable man!" She swore under her breath, slamming her fist against the cold stone. It took everything she had not to chase him down the stairs and tell him exactly what was bothering her because it weighed so heavily just then. But, she stayed and let the chill invade her bones, pondering deeply when it had happened, that she'd begun thinking of him as a man, a complicated and interesting man who took his tea with lemon, regardless of the kind, and was loathe to admit how much he enjoyed pumpkin pasties and the occasional chocolate frog, even Bertie Bott's every flavor beans, coaxing her to try them when he knew it was a nasty flavor._

 _The wind whirled through her hair once more, forcing her to step back and still against the edge, slowly sitting on the frozen ground. She felt st_ upid _and immature, all the school girl she'd been years before with crushes on Viktor Krum and even Ron, but with Snape, it was demonstrably different, it was impossible, and it froze her heart more than sitting on the cold stone of the Astronomy Tower._

 _When she finally came down, he was waiting, standing at the door, a cup of tea in hand and his standard sneer._

 _"Enjoy yourself?"_

 _"I always do." She replied sarcastically, walking passed him and down her usual path to the rooms set aside for all students who'd returned to finish their NEWTs and one surly professor who was no longer head of Slytherin but would be once he was well enough again. She unlocked her door with a quiet alohomora and stepped through, turning to him as he did the same, their eyes met and she bit her tongue, holding it all back again._

 _"Goodnight, Hermione." He dipped his head slightly as he bowed to her and she laughed at his feigned pretension. It made her feel even worse; she absolutely had to get over her feelings for him_

When he feigned his bow across from her, she melted, something about him called to her and she wanted to answer so desperately. No one in her life had ever made her feel this way and she was so frightened. It had happened so quickly, at least to her, and now she couldn't get him out of her brain. She felt foolish and immature. That was the night it all really started, bringing the moment in the tower to life.

Upon settling into bed, she noticed a letter on her LoTR book. It was from Severus.

"I've never properly thanked you for everything you've done for me, when I'm sure I did not make it easy. Please accept my apology for my behavior this morning, there is no excuse, often I am cruel to you, and though I would like to say I can temper it, unfortunately my life has rendered me a cruel man. I can only say that, having made poor choices at your age, I only offer advice given to me once I realized the error of my ways. It was impertinent of me to make brazen assumptions. We are only human and as such, we make mistakes. I would not want a another mistake of mine to ruin a friendship, because I do consider you my friend. S"

She read and re-read it at least three times before tucking it back in her book, wondering what had finally prompted him to write her. Perhaps seeing her at the top of the tower, truly done with his behavior, did it, or maybe it was the fact that she'd done everything she could to care for him all this time, to be reminded of his sharp tongue was written clearly across her face.

The next morning, she knocked on his door promptly and found him sitting in his chair, reading the Daily Prophet and sipping tea.

"Good morning." He said, eyeing her over the paper.

"Good morning, Severus."

"Did you receive my note?" He asked, almost sheepishly, as Hermione checked his bandage, her eyes so very close to his, her fingers cool against his warm skin.

"I did, in fact." But his warm skin worried her more than a disagreement they'd had.

"You feel rather warm, let me check your temperature again." His arm caught hers, a look of delirious happiness spread across his face, alarming her immensely.

"And are you my friend, Hermione? Was I right to assume you are, because I have only a few friends and you're the nicest. " His hand patted hers, as she felt his temperature continue to climb, redness around his wound and at his eyes made her sure he was feverish and delusional, most likely unaware how he was acting.

"Here, come with me, let's get you into bed so we can get this fever down. Come here, no, here." He zigzagged a bit with his cane and laughed at her, practically chasing him around his four poster bed, finally catching him and forcing him to sit. Unbuttoning his shirt, she caught him staring at her oddly, his mouth forming a sheepish smile.

"You've done this so often, I don't even think about you helping me anymore, it' since to have you help, have I said that?" She laughed at him, he'd hate himself if he knew what he was saying and she loved every minute of it, putting a lighter nightshirt on him and also rolling his pants off, his boxers bunching a bit as she did. In an effort to keep him from exposing himself, Hermione pulled his boxers down, her hands smoothing the hems as she tried to pull a cool sheet around him.

"Hermione, wait..." He stilled her, the lights flickering behind him, making her eyes twinkle as she tried to cool him.

"I really am sorry, really. I don't know why I was so cruel, you've been nothing but kind and I have been a beast. Potter still riles me, even after everything reminding me of his father, it was uncalled for. You aren't mad, are you?" He'd held her shoulders in place, rubbing his thumbs across her skin as he did, each motion making her wish she wasn't currently trying to help him change.

"We're friends, I am not cross with you any longer, I promise. Now, shove back, I need to put another cooling charm on your covers." He followed her directions, but refused to let go of her left hand as his head swimmer, his fever stabilizing but still high.

"You shouldn't have climbed that tower, you over exerted yourself." She whispered, taking a cool cloth to his forehead and trying to wipe away the sweat beading at his brow.

"I needed air and to be there again. I haven't been since Dumbledore,"

"You should've asked me, I would've helped you, that's why I'm here." He rolled his face to hers, a more appropriate facial expression for him met her.

"I don't want to ask you every time I need to find escape, it's not fair to you and not for me. You wouldn't have let me, regardless, and you know it."

"I might've, I needed air, too, but I am quite sure for different reasons." A knowing glance crossed his face, this time she didn't miss a hint of it and tried to still her heart, pounding wildly again as he ran his thumb across her knuckles.

"Was I so cruel as a teacher?" He dared ask, causing her to laugh so loudly she almost scared herself.

"You were tolerable." She replied, laughing, his face smoothing again but beginning to look as delirious as he had earlier.

"I'm not surprised you went this route, not really, brewing polyjuice potion as a second year, I was impressed, even if you managed to turn yourself into a cat." He toyed with her hand, turning it over in his and looking at the lines, then simply bringing it to his chest and holding it tightly.

"Why don't you try closing your eyes, sleep will help. Besides, I doubt you'll forgive yourself if you're much nicer to me tonight." It suddenly seemed the worst idea to him, to close his eyes and lose the moment with her, sitting so near him,so willing to be close to him.

"Fine, if I must." And so he closed his eyes, but not before giving her an affectionate squeeze and catching her eye one last time. As her arms became tired and weary, she crawled into bed next to him, cradling his head in her arms and keeping the damp cloth against him, enjoying the old familiar closeness they'd once had when he was still in the coma. For some time, she was able to keep him calm, but an hour or so later, things took a terrible turn. He seemed lost in thought, so delirious he thought she was someone else, someone dangerous and though he was still weaker than she was, he overpowered her more than once, hitting her so hard that she lost her balance and slipped off the bed. When she finally felt the room stop spinning, she saw rage on him, his eyes red and his smile gone, replaced by something she could only describe as devilish. He launched at her, pushing her across the room and forcing her to smack against the wall so hard, she fell unconscious to the floor. When his fever finally broke, he found her there, on his floor, obviously hurt and tried to floo for Poppy through his house elf, Tippy, and waited, more distraught than he'd been in ages.

"She was trying to calm my fever, I don't remember anything else." He defended as Poppy and Minerva came into the room, just as Hermione was finally rousing from her head trauma.

"He didn't mean to hurt me, I shouldn't have gotten so close, it was my fault." Both women tutted at her, one forcing Severus back into his bed and the other taking Hermione through the floo up to the infirmary.

"Well he didn't do any permanent damage, but this is a tough lesson learned. Latent anger or other emotions become quite complicated and complex in a feverish state." Poppy explained, running a full scan on Hermione as she lay still, thinking about her troubling last few days, between fights and rapid emotional shifts, she wanted nothing more than the solace of a night or two in the infirmary.

"I have definitely learned a lesson. Speaking of, my practicals this coming week, can I attempt them while I am up here?" Poppy nodded and forced her to lie back.

"I have potions for tomorrow as well, all of his medicines, and the bandages."

"Take a break, you've been going full speed for long enough, young woman. I'll have his medicines administered and your texts brought up, rest." Hermione listened and tried to sleep, but all she could do was think of him, the calm before the storm, the hope he gave her when she knew it was an impossible crush. Her mind flitted between thoughts of him and thoughts of Ron, even Harry and Ginny, how easy their relationship seemed to be and how different their life choices. Her parents suddenly came to thought, she wondered if they would look forward to seeing her now that their memory modifications were reversed, fearing anger and resentment for taking a whole year of their lives.

Turning on her side, she felt a new bruise on her arm, he must've grabbed her rather hard, forcing the old outline of Bellatrix's mudblood to shine red against her pale flesh. Finally, she succumbed to sleep and found herself surrounded by all the things she needed in the morning, including one worried looking former professor, reading over her notes and making his own.

"That's private, you know." She called out as he thumbed through her papers regarding his care, vitals, and important breakthroughs she wanted to remember in case she ever had to deal with a similar case again.

"Technically I am the case, so it's my information as well." It dawned on her that she very personal things written in her unofficial papers, like whether she'd slept next to him or felt his response, how many times he urinated or ate broth. It was technical but then not.

"If you aren't here to help me study for my practicals, take your nosy-self somewhere else. I have four skills tomorrow."

"Surely not?" He looked to her, her face as serious as his, as she tried to smooth her hair into a braid, but it wouldn't work so she sighed, annoyed at being alive that morning.

"Here, let me." His hands were instantly in her hair, smoothing it into small parts and then French braiding it as deftly as he'd chopped specimens for a potion.

"Where in the world did you learn to do that, may I ask?"

"My mother, she sometimes had trouble lifting her arms after...and she taught me, so there you have it." Hermione had forgotten his father had been abusive for a moment, then realized that Severus had been quite young when all of it happened. Washing over her just as quickly, she saw remorse in him and sadness, sadness that he'd hurt her like his father had hurt his mother countless time.

"You are not your father." She said blankly, pulling her braid over her shoulder and focusing on her books, taking out a quill to write notes.

"Still..."

"I was stupid, a know-it-all, I should've known better than to comfort you in that way while you were delirious, and I should've alerted Poppy as soon as you became aggressive, but I didn't because,because, well I've held you down before. Regardless, this is my fault, do not trouble yourself." His walking stick clinked on the ground and she instinctively jumped to get it, losing her balance and falling next to him.

"See, all my own fault."

"You're as bad as Minerva, bloody martyr." Together, they stood and then rested on her makeshift desk-bed, her head swimming.

"Fine, it's all your fault." She marked his hand with her quill and then returned to her cross-legged position, studying over compression bandages versus medicinal stitches. He waited several moments more before taking the bed next to her and lying down, resting his own slightly elevated temperature, still lower than the night before. His guilt consumed him when he allowed, first taking his rational thought and then all logic; he watched her studying, still the student she'd been in his class and he chided himself. She was nineteen. Nineteen.

"I feel like I can hear your thoughts, will you help me instead of brooding over there?" She called out, shocking him into consciousness. He was certainly glad she couldn't hear his thoughts.

"Actually, I need to go see Professor Slughorn about my house, if you must know."

"Fine, I didn't need your help anyway." She smiled at him, her eyes and freckles almost twinkling at him, like Albus had done so frequently. He barely made it out of the hospital wing before he released his breath, what was happening to him?

That night, he vowed not to visit her and instead ate in the Great Hall with the other professors, and students, wondering if he could really return to the classroom when he was finally healed. His eye caught Ginny Weasley and he thought of Harry Potter, the child he'd so desperately protected for the majority of his life...maybe a vacation was warranted? There was still the matter of his affections for one Hermione Granger, something he hadn't anticipated or encouraged within himself at all, yet had blossomed almost overnight. As the children filtered back to their common rooms, he went to the lounge of the new rooms, where he found Neville and Luna talking about the banquet for the Orders of Merlin, he'd almost forgotten about that.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: sexuality in this chapter, warning! I own nothing you recognize.

chapter 6:

A great gaggle of professors and returned students left Hogwarts together for the Ministry one week later, after Hermione successfully completed her second set of practicals and recovered from her incident with Snape. Helping him walk to the gates and then to Hogsmeade so they could apparate, she commented on his dress robes, they were a brick red, a color she never would've expected of him.

"And they're soft, my dress is too light for this weather, I should've brought my wrap." "It will be much cooler when we return, perhaps Longbottom will allow you to borrow his?" He joked, his tone sounding severe but his face giving away his joke. She held tight to him as she apparated them to the Ministry, and saw Ron with Priscilla, Ginny and Harry walking hand in hand towards the banquet hall. It didn't bother her so much that Ron was with a date, it bothered her more that she wasn't.

"Please don't let me drink, I might be nasty." She whispered under her breath, Severus leaning in close, almost appearing as though he was kissing her cheek.

"If I must." But once they entered the banquet hall, Hermione realized she was seated next to Harry and Ron, opposite the room from Snape who sat with other professors and honorees. She tried to send him a positive glance every now and then, but she found herself rather bored as the minister read stories about the honorees. It didn't help that Ron and Priscilla were talking practically non-stop under their breaths. She knew he didn't get to see her often, but it still irked Hermione to have to watch him canoodle, it reminded her of Lavender Brown in sixth year.

"I'm going to do it tonight, Hermione, ask Ginny to marry me. I can't wait until Christmas." Hermione smiled widely, so happy that Harry and Ginny were cementing their relationship, even if they probably wouldn't get married for at least a year or two.

Her concentration continued to waver, but she heard her name called and walked to the podium, gave her thanks to the Board of Governors, the minister, and guests, especially to Harry, Ron, and Severus who had sacrificed so much, and then she returned to her seat, desperate to get back to the castle.

When it was Severus' turn, she was shocked when he thanked her as well, for giving him second life. It warmed her heart that his recovery had been so successful, even if he still needed the skin graft. He walked over to her as everyone mingled.

"Can we leave?" He asked, a look of desperation in his eyes.

"Harry is going to propose, I need to stay for that. Are you in pain?" She surveyed him, he looked quite ill. Pushing Neville from his seat, she plopped Severus down and checked his vitals.

"Stop your infernal prodding, I'm just bored." She smacked him lightly on his arm and took her seat.

"No, you stop making me nervous." But he didn't hear her, as Harry dropped down on one knee and asked Ginny to marry him, Arthur and Molly cheering loudly, the entire Weasley clan present. She joined in the joyous celebrations, taking her champagne and toasting them, even hugging Ron, and Harry and Ginny before she slipped away with Snape. He took his robe and wrapped her tightly in it as they apparated to Hogsmeade, walking slowly back up to castle. She felt him shiver at her side.

"You can have your robes back, I'm not as cold as I was earlier." She took his robes and helped him back into them, taking his arm in hers as they walked back.

"I'll be leaving in a week for my next phase, please don't do anything crazy while I'm gone, hiking the Three Sisters or climbing Astronomy towers."He huffed at her side, spinning his walking stick for a second. It was eerily silent except for the crunching of their feet in the snow, hers almost frozen through.

"Finally, freedoms from your protestations. Whatever will I do with all the hours I won't be under constant scrutiny."

"Joke all you want, you cannot ruin my good spirits tonight." His arched brow made her laugh.

"And what makes you so happy in this freezing weather with half a mile still to walk?" His voice floated on the wind as it swirled, making it hard to look up at him as they walked, so she kept her face forward.

"Nothing in particular, just happy. You should try it sometime, curmudgeon." Her finger prodded his arm, but when he returned the favor, he hit the bruised flesh from the week before, her mudblood still raw. She winced and let go of him, rubbing the spot and around to take pressure off the nerves.

"What did I do now?"

"It's nothing you did, well not originally." She pulled her sleeve up, revealing the word and bruises. His face fell; he'd once been a proponent of the same evil thoughts at Bellatrix LeStrange and it sickened him, especially seeing it written across her lovely arm.

"When did this happen?" He inquired, not remembering seeing it previously.

"We were taken, trying to find the sword of Godric Gryffindor; it could've been worse, I was almost bitten by Fenrir Greyback. Needless to say, I'd rather be branded a mudblood for life than endure what poor Remus Lupin went through." His fingers came directly to his mouth and his guilt rose up, but before he could say anything else, she rolled down her sleeve and took his arm again. They walked in silence to their quarters and she shyly patted his arm, opening her door and retreating, wishing instead she was going to lie next to him in his, or even in the hospital ward since it had become such a comfort for her. He wished her a goodnight and set his medal and letters on the shelf next to his books, thinking about how nice it would've been to talk to her for a while longer. An hour later, he heard a faint rapping at his door, Hermione stood ashen faced and obviously nervous. She didn't say anything at first, simply walked into his rooms, feeling ever the bold girl she had been before the gave her a knowing look.

"In my journals..."

"You slept next to me every night." He said as she came in, crawled onto his bed and then under his covers.

"Do you mind? It's just, I haven't slept so well lately, and..." But she didn't finish her sentence, she simply watched him as crawled under the covers next to her, bringing the top of the covers over her and himself.

"You were so angry when you woke up, but I was so glad to see you again, not as this comatose man, but as the man I'd known all these years. Are you still angry with me?" He nodded, unable to say more because he didn't want to break the spell or perhaps say more than he wanted to in the moment, when he finally regained his composure, he spoke.

"You would've been angry, had you thought you were dead and suddenly a former student is giving you a sponge bath and has undoubtedly seen and touched all of you." She wanted to reach for him, to cuddle against him, but she kept to her side and simply smiled, trying not to think of his naked form. Instead, she faked a yawn and closed her eyes.

"Thank you. Severus, I'll try not to make this a habit, I know you like your space." He didn't reply, simply watched her fall asleep, her eyelashes long, her mouth forming a little heart. It was dangerous for her to be in his bed, propriety be damned. Trying to think of anything but her rising chest and slowly twitching legs next to him, he recited all of the potions he could brew from memory, a task he'd started whenever he needed to clear his mind in Voldemort's presence, and with that sleep came, enveloping them both in calm before another morning hit them.

When Severus woke up, Hermione was already awake and in one of the chairs by his fireplace, reading a book on healing potions and sipping some tea. He almost didn't want to move from the spot; he liked having her in his rooms, her usual noises and habits becoming as common as his own.

"Looks who's awake." Hermione raised her glass to him and then returned to her work.

"How did you know, I haven't even moved." He said, sitting up and swinging his legs over his bed, grabbing his walking stick and walking to the chair next to her.

"Sleeping next to you for so long, I know when you aren't actually sleeping, you know. My ear is expertly trained to a Snape soundtrack. Besides, you always grip the covers like you're about to fall out when you first wake up, so there's that as well." She met his gaze, his annoyed gaze, and smiled as Tippy brought in breakfast for him.

"I ordered you a full breakfast because you have blood trials today and then I need to take a small sample for the graft project." For some reason, he couldn't stop staring at her, and she felt it.

"What? Have I something in my teeth, hair?"

"Nothing." He replied, taking a bite of his black pudding and wishing she would leave, for the first time since waking from the coma, he felt arousal and it was taking everything he had to hide it.

"Are you sure, I can leave if you need privacy, you simply need to tell me. I'm sorry." He felt the weight of her words, he didn't exactly want her to leave, but he knew it would take him some times to recover the longer she stayed.

"Stop apologizing." He snapped, forcing her to spill her tea. She gathered her books and walked to the door, refusing to meet his eye. Her hand trembled as she turned the knob, making it shake, but she didn't stop, she simply pushed it as hard as she could and went to her rooms.

It was another one of those moments, where it seemed their friendship dissolved back into the student/professor relationship they'd once had. It always disarmed her, wishing she wouldn't allow herself to get so comfortable with him, though it was becoming more difficult by the day to stop herself.

An hour later, they both opened their doors simultaneously and walked to the infirmary, neither saying a word. When they saw Poppy, they both nodded, but Hermione started the blood trials as soon she could, then prepared his wound for graft removal,trying her best to make it as painless as possible,

"Swallow." She shoved a potion in his face and he acquiesced, knowing that without it the pain of skin removal would be more than he could handle at the moment.

"I am going to try to remove as little as possible, but I have to get a good sample or the trial will fail. I'm sor..." But she stopped herself and huffed, wishing she hadn't gone to his rooms at all and simply stayed in her even if she hadn't been able to sleep well. When he didn't reply, she began the graft, using her wand like a laser and removing two samples, placing them between glass and charming them in stasis. Immediately, she cleaned his wound and bandaged the area, reminding her of their earlier days in the infirmary.

"I won't be here to clean this tomorrow, so please let Poppy." She was surprised by the sudden turn of his face to hers. "I'm leaving early to get started, my parents are coming to Devon for Christmas so I want to get my studying in before they do." 'You don't want me around anyway', she thought, believing she had finally pushed him too far.

"Here, let me wash your hair, do you mind? I've gotten blood back here and it's not safe for a shower."

"My quarters." He said, and they left for his quarters, walking as quietly as when they'd ascended the stairs earlier in the day.

"Let me transfigure this chair, hold on." Hermione turned one of his chairs into one similar in a barbershop and put a towel and water-wicking spell on his bandage before wetting his hair and lathering it up, being sure to get the parts closest to his was something therapeutic for her in taking care of him.

"How do you do that?" He said out of nowhere, almost moaning.

"Nerves, that's all it is, and phrenology, all these lumps and bumps on your head. I can tickle your toes with one touch." She joked, but Severus was not thinking about his toes at all. Instead, he simply watched her arms as they moved around him, leaning against him every so often to rinse a different spot or avoid water near his bandage. Her form, the roundness of her body, made him long to be as close to her as he could. He didn't know what possessed him, but suddenly he had to touch her, so he put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. She was drying his hair as he reached for her, encircling her and drawing her face closer to his.

"I didn't want you to leave this morning, but if you'd stayed, I'm afraid my self-control would've been compromised." His words shocked her, his arms holding her tightly against him as her eyes widened in shock, her hands stilled in his hair, dropping the towel. Hermione's look intensified as she leaned in to kiss him, being a brave as she'd been the night before coming to his rooms. Moving herself to sit on the armrest, she ran her hands through his hair, deepening her kiss, as his hands held her tights afraid to do too much traveling.

"Bloody hell." She finally whispered, her face as red as his robes had been and her pulse so high she might've been running a sprint. It took her minutes to register what had just happened.

"I didn't want you leaving for Devon thinking I don't want you around, quite the opposite really." It was as though he'd read her mind and said exactly what she wanted to hear.

"You really are insufferable." She said, kissing him again, using her shoe to toss the towel back up to her.

"Says the pot." She slapped him with the towel as he released her, suddenly things a little awkward. Technically she was still enrolled at the school and in apprenticeship, his own status in the air until he was properly healed, would McGonagall think them inappropriate? Lost in thought, she transfigured his chair back to normal and then moved the basin back to his washroom, catching a glimpse of her bright, red face.

"You really shocked me." She said, exiting the loo several minutes later and finding Severus asleep on his bed, she hated to wake him but he'd wake in pain without his potions. So she measured them out and walked to the edge of his bed, waking him enough to take the potions.

"I don't want you to wake in pain, here." He rolled his eyes and sat up slightly, but fell back almost immediately. It had been a very busy afternoon and she was sure he was exhausted. Without regard to rules or proprietary, Hermione crawled into bed with him gave him another kiss before moving to the opposite side and finding sleep for herself.

This time when she woke, Snape's arm was draped across her body, tucked tightly her right armpit and breast. No man had ever touched her before, not even Ron. Feelings of inadequacy invaded her mind, but she chose not to let herself get too anxious seeing as though it felt pretty amazing to be in his arms. When he finally woke, his typical reaction meant instead of grabbing the covers, he grabbed her, which shocked both of them.

"I see you decided to stay." He whispered in her ear, causing a chill to run down her spine.

"I was worried about the graft spot, you know, education and constant vigilance." Her giggle against him made it impossible for him not to laugh as well, pulling her closer as he did.

"What time are you leaving?"

"After breakfast, you'll be free soon, I promise." She sighed, looking back at him, winking as she did.

"Thank the gods, freedom at last." Hermione noted that not only was he the first man to touch her intimately, he was the first not to assume too much about her. Viktor Krum had been mostly kind, but even he had expectations. Ron had pushed and pushed, but things just felt comfortable and natural with Snape, perhaps it was because she no longer had anything to hide. All her vulnerabilities were exposed. It also crossed her mind that she didn't know much about his personal life, aside from Lily Evans, and that didn't mean much in terms of sex. He seemed too dark and knowledgeable not to have some experience with women, she couldn't see him as a thirty-eight year old virgin.

Just as she thought about him perhaps being far more experienced than she, his hands moved from full stowage in armpit breast area to her stomach, resting there, his fingers gently caressing the exposed skin. She didn't quite know what to do, so she reached up through the pillow with one of her free hands and held his, their fingers encircling together. Tingles traveled throughout her body, not used to so much sensation at once, it was the first time she was glad he wasn't facing her.

"Did you say three weeks?" He suddenly asked, still breathing in her ear.

"Possibly six or more if I fail." His snort tickled her ear, forcing her body to jerk, moving the hand that was resting on her stomach to her thigh, he ran his hand across her muscles.

"Those muscles are from lifting you, you know." She teased, tensing her thigh as he passed over it, feeling bold but not quite ready for too much more.

"I'm miserably sore this morning, what did you do to me yesterday?"

"Harvested your organs; your kidney fetched one thousand galleons." She joked, but did force him on his back, sitting cross legged next to him, looking at his wound and graft area.

"It'll probably take another day for this to hurt less, do you want your potions now?" He shook his head and pulled her to him, practically on top of him, the sensation, another one she'd never felt.

"Promise me you'll sleep while you're gone, and eat. I don't want you returning here a bag of bones, too sleepy to fix me." Her rather large eyes melted him, any resolve he'd had was gone each time she looked at him with the exact face she was making.

"I promise. Now you promise me the same, absolutely no treks into the Forbidden Forest and please, no whiskey." Catching him in a kiss, she pulled herself completely on top of him, his pelvic bone resting against hers in an odd battle of wills.

"Damn, that hurt." She yelped, moving against him, forcing him to shudder and move beneath her. He was using every ounce of his resolve to stop himself from using all of his energy to ravage her.

"Gods, you'll drive me insane." She dipped down to him, catching his mouth in a deep kiss, his eyes traveling down her shirt.

"So you won't forget me." She whispered, kissing him again and sliding off of him, fixing her underwear as she did and finding him utterly silent, staring at the ceiling. Taking one of his robes, she covered herself and went to the door, her face still beet red as she did.

"See you in about three weeks, be good, Severus." She heard a pillow hit the door as she closed the door and knew he was just as frustrated as she was. It was good that she was getting a break, she didn't want to move too quickly with him just to have him decide she was a passing fancy. It took all of her resolve not to turn around and go right back to him.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I own nothing you recognize!

Chapter 7

Healer Ashby was competent but had none of the bedside manner that Madame Pomfrey had, still Hermione learned a great deal and was ready for Christmas and to return to Hogwarts, her heart undoing each time she thought of Severus' sudden return of her feelings.

Her parents came for a week and she saw them at dinner or breakfast when she wasn't also studying for her NEWTs or new techniques with Healer Ashby. She told them about Snape, though in general terms, trying not to appear to eager about her former professor. Christmas morning, she found presents from her friends and family, and one special present from Severus, a new set of journals and new quills, exactly what she'd wanted. She wrote him a quick owl then returned her to her studies, desperate for the time to pass.

"See, once you harvest the new skin, you must treat it carefully, using everything at your disposal to save it from becoming necrotic. Your patient will not have a successful graft if you neglect even one step." Hermione finished her notes and went to the lab for their practical, ready to pass and get home. Hours later, with Healer Ashby's approval, she received her letters and left, practically running from her apparition point in Hogsmeade to Hogwarts, stopping only to say hello to Hagrid who she passed on the way in and the headmistress to give her qualifications. Tentatively she knocked on Severus' door, only to find him gone. In lieu of searching the grounds, she unpacked her room and went to the infirmary to tell Madame Pomfrey about her experience, detailing all of the practical experience she'd received.

After dinner and catching up with Luna, Neville, and Ginny, Hermione made it to her rooms. If Severus was in his rooms, she didn't know because she decided he would find her when he wanted to, she didn't expect it to take two days.

They finally crossed paths, her heart wounded slightly but trying to appear mature and logical, when she started her next set of practicals. He happened upon her in the infirmary, working with Poppy and Neville, who had harvested from gilly weed and wormswort for them. His cold behavior made no sense.

"Poppy, I'm going to my rooms, goodnight."

Hermione called out, leaving Severus to the potions and hoping he'd follow, but he didn't. Instead she found her room full of things she'd left in his, no note, no explanation.

The next day after her classes, Hermione went to McGonagall and inquired what happened while she was gone.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, although Horace did officially put in his notice, effectively pushing Sevetus into his former role if he chooses it." Perhaps he was just stressed, but in the time since he'd been hurt until the time before she'd left, they hadn't gone more than twenty-four hours from each other.

Upon returning to her rooms, she found him in the lounge and said hello, but he didn't respond.

"Any particular reason you're being so foul?" She asked, but again he said nothing. Angrily, she retreated to her rooms and swore, throwing her quills as she did.

An hour later, a hard knock at her door stirred her from her reverie.

"Oh, have a seat, please." She said sarcastically as he came in, and slouched in her chair, looking ragged and tired. He sat in silence, refusing to meet her eye.

"If you're just going to sit here, fine, but at least tell me why, I deserve to know. " His fingers tapped, he looked like Professor Snape again.

"Deserve, what you deserve? I will be thirty-nine years old tomorrow, what business do I have romantically involving myself with young woman of nineteen?" She almost laughed, but then realized he was serious. Slumping in the chair across from him, she let her anger boil but instead of saying what she wanted to say she simply told him to leave.

"Did you not hear me, I said leave. It's past my bedtime." She opened the door with her wand and motioned him out, waiting until he was gone to let herself fall apart. He was right, maybe she was being foolish and the feelings she'd felt were simply based upon their proximity. But the more she broke down her time with him, the more she wanted to throttle him for even allowing her to hope. Even though she had always known that Snape was a complicated man, she'd hoped his insecurities had diminished, at least towards her, but it obviously wasn't the case. It took hours before her tears stopped and she finally fell asleep, alone. At some point, however, she'd walked over to his rooms and pushed the door open, sleeping on the ground next to his bed. When she awoke, in his quarters, she tried to get out before he woke, embarrassed that she'd sleep-walked into his rooms.

The next morning, Hermione busied herself with her studies and brewed the rest of the potions on order, including his. When he came to have his bandage changed, she painted a smile and straightened her apron, as she'd done before. It looked almost ready for the graft.

"We will start the graft on Monday." She refused to tell him happy birthday, refused to let her touch linger or look at him longer than needed. As she made her notes, he hovered for a moment. She couldn't figure out why he wouldn't leave so she looked over to him.

"Your potions, sorry." But for once, she didn't mean it. She wasn't sorry. Her care would not be compromised but she wouldn't go out of her way for him if he didn't appreciate her attentions.

"Monday, Severus, in the morning." She hissed his name and dismissed him, feeling supremely used. He made a sound but she ignored him, burying herself further in study. That weekend it took all she had to stay in her rooms, venturing out only when she had to for meals or to walk in the forest. She even visited Hagrid twice, finding his hut a comfort she needed.

On Sunday afternoon, walking back into the infirmary, she felt him behind her, almost trailing her. He was there for a bandage replacement and potions.

"Won't you be glad when you won't have to wear these anymore." She whispered, trying to will herself to feel sympathy for him, but she just couldn't. Even with the new graft, he would need care for weeks to ensure the tissue remained healthy.

"Just so you're aware, full disclosure, I will have to tend this twice a day for at least three weeks, is that something you can handle?" She didn't mean to sound petty, but it was the truth. In the wizarding world she was old enough to dress his wounds, to fight dark wizards, but not to love him.

"I have no protestations of your care, you are an excellent mediwitch in training."

"That's something, I guess. Perhaps I'll add that to my resume." She sent all the dirty bandages to the bin and marked notes in her journal, noticing that again he lingered, his potions ingested.

"May I be of further service, sir?" She asked, her quill twirling between her thumb and index finger.

"Nothing." But it all boiled to the surface, every pain and slight she'd felt, and so she snapped her quill, splintering her finger.

"Don't nothing me, Severus. What do you want?" She said her voice barely above a whisper, wrapping her finger in parchment to stop the bleeding.

"Can we not be friends, at least?" His voice barely made it to her it was so low and quiet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that, you want to be my friend? We are friends, Severus, I'm just currently so angry at you I pierced my finger with a shard from my quill. If you expect me to be friendly with you, I would ask for some time as I didn't leave for Devon under the impression that I'd return to this." He did not respond but turned in his heel and left, their roles feeling completely altered.

When she finally made it to her rooms, she found her door slightly ajar, Harry inside.

"Bloody hell, I'm happy to see you. Does Ginny know you're here?"

"No, surprising her and speaking to the defense classes this week. Where's Snape?" But he knew immediately from the look on her face that that was a sore subject.

"In his room, most likely. I wouldn't know."

"What's happened?" He asked, bravely seeing the fire rise in her eyes.

"I was right, Harry, I'm a fool and nineteen, far too young to know what I want."

She shouted, hoping he could hear her.

"That bad?" He edged back in the seat, pushing his glasses back.

"Worse, but I only have five more months here and then I'll be free to work at St. Mungos or even do something else. I'm sure I'll be over it soon enough." She laughed, almost crying. They sat that way for a while, then she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep, admonishing herself for allowing her emotions to rule her decision making. Harry joined her not long after and she slept soundly for the first night in weeks.

The next morning, they walked to breakfast together, Harry immediately going to sit with Ginny, and leaving her to the mercy of the staff table. She was too nervous to eat, but choked down her breakfast and went directly to the hospital wing, finding Snape waiting.

"Sounded like you had a fun evening."

"I had to sleep next to someone." She snapped back under her breath, washing her hands diligently before coming back to Snape.

"Please take these, one is for pain and the other for toleration." He swallowed them without question and watched as she moved around the room.

"When I harvest the skin from your lower back, it will hurt, there is nothing else I can give you, but it will be quick, I swear." He nodded, lying down on the bed after removing his shirt. Poppy stood off in the distance, ready to help if needed.

"I'm sorry we have to do it this way, Severus, but it is your best chance."

"I trust you, Hermione." And she started, taking as much viable skin from his lower back as she could, placing it between glass and casting a spell Healer Ashby had taught her, hoping at least half of the tissue was viable. When she finished, she covered his raw skin in a salve which mimicked skin and cooled it, virtually removing the sharp pain he'd felt. He face was unreadable, but she knew it had hurt. She offered him a sleeping potion and then waited as he began to get drowsy.

"I'm going to put a shirt on you so you don't get cold, but I've enchanted it and the blanket to hover." He reached for her hand, and she gave it to him without hesitation, she still had a heart after all. That night, she slept next to him, knowing the worst was yet to come.

A week later when his lower back was sufficiently healed and the new skin ready for transporting, Hermione prepared his wound, etching out as much of the scar tissue as she could, wishing she could knock him out.

"When I move this new tissue over, it's going to feel like a great deal of pressure, it will last until the transition is successful." He nodded, watching her hands work over him, not entirely prepared for the sensation. It hurt more than his death mark, more than crucio or any other torture he'd received, but he knew he couldn't plead, he couldn't move or make a sound. When she finally finished moving all the tissue, he collapsed against the bed, the pain almost unbearable.

"Severus, I'm so sorry, I wish I could take the pain away." But she kept her distance, until she saw his tears, real tears. She crawled into bed with him then, and cradled him in her arms, trying to take some of the edge off, but he didn't seem comforted in the slightest. Finally, when she felt like she could watch him suffer no more, she called for Poppy to bring her a calming draught and half of his normal pain dosage; she'd held off as long as she could.

"Here, drink this, I promise it will help. Please, drink." She poured it slowly down his throat, tipping his head back slowly, so he didn't choke, the effect was immediate. His shaking calmed bad breathing returned to normal before she almost passed out against him from trying to restrain his movements.

"Sleep now, if you can, it will feel loads better in the morning." She cooled a cloth and dabbed his skin, making sure the new skin was adequately moisturized while he rested. Poppy checked on them once more before heading to her rooms, McGonagall taking her place on watch.

"Dear, get some sleep. He'll be fine throughout the night." But Hermione could not leave his side or let the tissue have a chance to fail, she watched him constantly, her hands sleepy dabbing the area and then a separate cloth wiping his face, cooling him as the new skin adhered to his neck. Each movement caused her alarm, but she couldn't sleep, she wanted to make sure he was going to be alright. If she'd made a mistake, there was no one else to blame.

When she finally saw daylight through the castle walls, she assessed him once more and noted that he had calmed considerably, his skin normal temperature and his face smoothed of anxiety or pain. She s changed out of her apron and robes into fresh ones and attended classes, wiring feverishly until she was finally released, running up the stairs to see if he was awake.

"He woke for about five minutes and asked for water, that's a great sign. You did a marvelous job, Hermione." Minerva remarked, patting her shoulder, but relief didn't wash over Hermione, instead fear crept in. They'd only made it once night, over thirty percent of patients had to have skin grafts upwards of four times before they took. Could she really put him through that again, or herself.

He stirred again an hour later when she charmed a new bandage for him that kept the skin moisturized.

"Do you permit me to remove your shirt?" She asked, his collar too close to the new skin.

"Of course, insufferable girl." But she couldn't laugh, she was driven. Minerva checked in the before Poppy retired and found Hermione almost delirious next to Snape, watching his every move. When she finally fell asleep at his side, holding his hand, Minerva took over, ensuring he was as pain free as possible.

"You don't fool me, Severus Snape, you may have her convinced, but you don't fool me." She admonished as she gave him some broth.

"Whatever do you mean, old woman?"

"It's very clear to me that you have formed an attachment to our young protégé; am I wrong?" He couldn't deny it, especially not to McGonagall.

"I've told her to move on, sort of, well I basically said I was too old for her, and that is true." Minerva withheld his next sip of broth, eyeing him with her famous stare.

"So her feelings are meaningless?"

"She is young, easy in love." But Minerva's huff told him immediately he was being ridiculous.

"And if someone had told you that about Lily Evans?"

"That's unfair." He snapped.

"It is her as well. It's one thing to have disagreements due to general compatibility and another to have strong feelings for someone you deny because of frivolous details. So you're thirty-nine and she's nineteen, she'll be twenty soon enough and besides that, she's much older than her years."

"I don't want to age her further, imagine if she wanted children, gods…" Minerva's eyebrows shot up.

"Sounds as though you've already considered the matter enough to have those particular worries, Severus." He couldn't deny it, he had. He'd even thought of her living with him at Spinner's End, helping him make it a real home for once in his life.

"I don't want to ruin her life."

"How do you know you aren't already?" He finished his broth and looked to her, exhausted and sleeping oddly on the side of his bed. He used his wand to bring a blanket around her shoulders, resting his hand in her hair and falling back asleep. When he woke, she was up and bustling again

"Was last night better?" She asked him, cleaning his neck again.

"Much better, your calming/pain draught did wonders. If only could get the sensation to feel normal, then I could leave this blasted place."

"I can help you to your rooms after the next cleaning, we'll know how much is going stick." She patted his hand before moving back to the store room and her potions, brewing and taking her mind off Severus. He would need bathing before bed unless he didn't require his pain medicine, but she knew he would. To be so close, to get to touch him but not, it felt too much in the moment, so she focused on potions and reading instead, finishing her transfiguration homework before returning hours later to her patient.

"Let's see." Removing her charmed bandage, Hermione instantly began crying, every bottled emotion let free. She couldn't stop herself, practically drowning him in her tears. Poppy came running from the office and stopped at the sight.

"Hermione, dear, what is going on?" But she couldn't speak, she simply pointed at his neck, where over eighty percent of the tissue has successfully grafted. If he was lucky, he would never need another graft.

"Over eighty percent, Severus."Poppy remarked, pulling Hermione away from him, but not quickly enough as they stress and emotional weight forced her to pass out, landing softly in Poppy's arms.

"Hermione, dear, when did you last eat?" She heard distantly.

"I don't recall." She said groggily, waking up next to Severus who was holding her hand.

"Did you reapply the bandage, he needs another potion." Poppy calmed her, snapping for a house elf to bring dinner.

"He is all taken care of, now you must will resume care tomorrow, but not before." Hermione nodded and squeezed Severus' hand, hoping he wouldn't let go.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you happy birthday, I was exceptionally cruel." She said, turning to him and lacing her hand into his.

"You weren't, just angry and you had every right to be. I didn't handle myself or the situation as an adult, one of my many flaws." She wanted to crawl next to him, for him to let her, but instead she refused to give his hand back, not that he'd tried exactly to have it back. They stared at each other before house elf interrupted then, forcing them both to eat.

"I get broth and she gets a four course meal? The standards here have certainly dropped." Hermione was glad to see him in better spirits, though she felt a twinge of sadness. Being his friend was lovely, but it would be difficult for her to separate her attraction from her friendship, she buried it for the remainder of the evening and enjoyed her dinner, talking with Severus about the ridiculous rules of Hector Ashby, skin graft connoisseur.

"He was the creepiest healer I've ever met. I couldn't leave Devon quickly enough." Hermione finished her pudding and then stretched, as house elves carted off their mess.

"Didn't you have some reform thing for the house elves?" She laughed, thinking back to her SPEW days, but also as the face he gave her rolling in his side and lying in his right side.

"I have a tender heart, make fun all you want. Perhaps it'll serve me someday." Her laughed carried through the infirmary like a drum, echoing off each brick.

"I've missed that." He laughed a little himself, reaching for her hand, forcing her to scoot to the edge of her bed to be closer to him.

"Friends can hold hands?" Hermione held his with both of hers, unwilling again to let them go. She wanted more and knew if she allowed herself to continue to fancy him in such a way, she'd have a broken heart for sure.

"In your estimation, friends can sleep in the same bed." But Hermione ignored the implication and sighed.

"Severus, I can't do this, be your friend and touch you, at least not right now, though I very much want to. It's just, I really do have a tender heart and all of this, it makes it very hard not to love you." He hadn't expected that, the L word, but he had expected that she would be unable to take the steps back to a formal friendship, something he wanted less than a new skin graft. His fears hadn't dissipated, though, she was young and untouched by some of the horrors he'd experienced.

"Don't you wish to find someone your own age? Someone whose body works properly and who doesn't require constant meddling." She barely believed his protestations, but she amused him.

"Sure, a man my own age, fumbly and expecting excitement with no substance, my body but never my mind. It's worked so well for me thus far. Do you have any idea how intimidating a girl with a brain is to most young men, I might as well have a pox." He thought of her mind, how it constantly worked, seeking new information whenever possible, and if her body, she had a very nice figure, one hidden most of the time under robes and aprons.

"Fine, I'll concede that point, now the other."

"I am smart and good at this, but my heart will keep me from being a truly excellent healer, my meddling will be only for you and if l disliked it so much, I wouldn't continue. Minerva has offered me another position, a new class to be offered next Fall if I chose to stay here." His hand tightened around hers.

"But I've also been offered two positions with Kingsley, awaiting my NEWT scores. So, my future is wide open."

"See what I mean, how would that work? If you remained here, we would have to sign paperwork when I become deputy headmaster and the staff would certainly talk. And if you're at the Ministry, we'll rarely see each other." She liked that he was willing at all to consider the possibility of her being in his life as something more than his friend.

"The staff already has a good indication that we are more than friends, Severus, and as far as my working at the ministry, Horace has agreed to stay if you plan to continue as deputy headmaster, we can see each other every weekend. Solved." She'd obviously thought it through.

"You don't even have a flat." He protested.

"I have money and a friend who happens to own a rather large building in London with many rooms, aside from that, I rather hoped you'd want to meet at Spinner's End." She stilled her hands, gauging his interest and the validity of her argument.

"You've considered everything, haven't you?" He replied, feeling himself coming to her thinking rather easily.

"If you still have protestations, I will never bring this up again. We will remain friends, I rather enjoy your sharp wit and horrid manners, but I won't be holding your hands or sleeping in your rooms. I've never felt romantic feelings for Harry, but for you I'm afraid it would be too painful now. And of course I will continue to care for you because you're my favorite case." She even further to the edge and finally met his eyes, worried she'd find the same fears she'd seen before, but he seemed pleased.

"We still have other things to discuss, but that's enough for now." She added, kissing his hand.

"Yes, we do." Poppy came through with his last potions for the evening and they both settled to sleep, Hermione watching him as long as she could before she finally succumbed as well, sleeping well next to him as she normally did.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I own nothing you recognize!

Thank you, geowynpnn and Amarenima Redwood for your reviews! I really appreciate the positive feedback!

Chapter 8

She moved him to his quarters the next morning before attending classes and brewing the potions for the weeks. She couldn't believe it was already Thursday again. Though they'd come to an agreement regarding the forward movement of their relationship, Hermione was still cautious. She did not want to find him suddenly at odds with her again, though she knew no relationship was without strife and the possibility of ending.

That evening when she returned, he was in his chair, looking as though he'd love to tear all of his new skin off. She moistened the bandage again and then kissed him, his hand resting softly on her hip as she did.

"Minerva is going to check in at 8, so I'll make myself scarce in case she needs to talk to you about Hogwarts related things." Bending once more to kiss him, she gathered her things and went back to her room, waiting to hear Minerva leave, but she fell asleep before that happened, surprisingly resting well, the previous weeks weighing heavily on her. Severus had come to her rooms early the next morning, brooding and obviously annoyed.

"Oh, hello." She said between yawns, rubbing her eyes and joining him in a chair across from the fireplace, folding her legs as she sat.

"You look surly." Her voice creaked a bit as she said, noting that he needed to have a new bandage and potions, but she didn't dare approach him, waiting instead for him to say something or come to her. But he didn't say anything, he sat there with his fingers crossed, like a minister from the Great Awakening, prepared to damn everyone to hell. Although she knew she needed to wait for him, she couldn't let him suffer. Pouring his dosage out, she set them next to him on the side table and placed a hand softly on his shoulder, his own coming up to hers and patting it. It was a cue, so she carefully removed his bandage and charmed a new one, making sure the skin underneath was still healthy and to her great satisfaction it was. Calling for tea, joined him again and tried to keep herself quiet. It was aggravating watching him suffer and internally implode.

"Did you just want to be near me while you think?" He nodded, making it slightly worse for her. She wanted to ask him a thousand questions, squeeze next to him on the chair and kiss his warm lips, but instead she brought her knee to her chin and watched him. Tea finally arrived, so she poured hers and then took his to him, lemon peels and all. The silence stretched between them and it took everything she had not to let herself obsess that this was related to their previous disagreement, her young age and inexperience. Finally, she heard him clear his throat and she tried not to look too eager.

"The Board of Governors is launching a full investigation into my merits as a professor here, especially if I take the role of Deputy Headmaster in the Autumn." She wouldn't have guessed at this problem if she'd had all day.

"But, even the Ministry cleared you, I mean you received an Order of Merlin, First Class. What is their complaint?" When he finally looked at her again, she saw his anger, annoyance, and general unhappiness with the situation.

"They feel that my being involved, regardless of the circumstances, with Albus Dumbledore's death shows a lack of moral fiber and respectability. Additionally, they worry my status, though I have been cleared by the bloody Wizengamot twice, as former Death Eater sets a dangerous precedent and example for the students." He drummed his fingers against her chair, his foot shaking as he crossed it; she'd never seen so much nervous energy in him..

"Isn't that the entire point of rebuilding, of opening this school for those children of former Death Eaters and all the fighters to redeem themselves and find friendships? I don't understand."

"Neither do I, but this presents another precarious hurdle for me, one that I do not look forward to fixing." Finishing his tea, he placed his cup on saucer on the side stand and then leaned forward, his elbows on his legs and his hands rubbing fiercely against each other.

"What does Minerva say? Surely as headmistress she has sway, and Harry, all of us, we are witnesses to your sacrifice. We'll fix this, I promise." She walked to him, putting her hands in his as he pulled her close, staring up at her from his seat.

"Minerva thinks it's a formality to save their tails in the event a parent complains." He rested his arms at her waist, his hands clasped at their lower back.

"Well, then we shouldn't worry, besides I can think of several companies who would die to have a true Potions Master at their helm."

"How are you always so optimistic?" He asked, resting his head on her stomach, enjoying the closeness of her body and the sweet smell of her terry cloth robe.

"I have no reason not to be." Hermione whispered, forcing him to look up at her at she gently pushed him back onto the seat, coming to rest across him, her legs stretched across the arm rests and her arms around his shoulders, trying to be careful of his neck. He made a soft wince as she let go of him.

"You're back? Alright, come here." She had him lie face down on her mattress after removing his shirt. He continued to get nasty knots at his shoulder blades, most likely from the stress of his graft and his walking cane, putting undue pressure in areas that weren't accustomed to such stress. Working around the spot, she noticed he also had a few bruises on his arms, but his lower back skin was healing nicely.

"It looks like I beat you, you know." She said, her fingers traveling his arms and shoulders, eliciting a small laugh from him. It was rare and glorious, his laugh.

"I'll make sure to add that to my case so the Governors have pity." Leaning down to kiss him, she let herself imagine their lives together, only for a moment, getting to wake up with him each day, talking about important and educational things, existing together.

"I wish I didn't have make-up classes today, I'd love to stay and lounge with you, but I'm sure Professors Flitwick and Slughorn, not to mention Sinistra would be none to pleased with me."

"Slave drivers, all of them."

"You're one to talk, if it were you and not Slughorn, I'd be writing twice the essays and brewing far more potions." She hadn't meant to bring up their former acquaintance, but it really couldn't be helped. They were once student and teacher, but no longer.

"I'd hold you for detention, that's for sure." He jest, smacking her bottom slightly as she walked away. It was the first morning they'd spent in her rooms and she realized that unless he left before she needed to leave, she'd have to change in front of him, the trickiest part being her lack of brassiere, but she knew she could put that on in the loo. She blushed just thinking about it, she'd seen him completely nude and though he'd touched her in many places and perhaps caught a quick glance or so, he hadn't seen her nude at all, not even a little. Walking to her wardrobe, she pulled the cabinet door and thought about her choices, she rarely wore her traditional Gryffindor clothes anymore since she was in the infirmary so often, but it was all she had that morning as laundry hadn't come back. Walking back to him, she kissed him then went to the loo. She needed a shower and to ease the red of her face; she wanted to be brave and brazen, but the most she could summon was walking out of the loo in her towel, bra and underwear already in place, her shirt, vest, skirt, and tie waiting as she removed the towel, Severus now in the chair once more, sipping his tea and badly pretending he wasn't watching her. Standing on her tiptoes to reach her only clean pair of socks, Severus saw that she had a birthmark on her left hip, right above her pantyline the shape of a crescent moon. It took her very little time to get ready normally, but she felt her adrenaline pumping, realizing that he was actively watching her now, pulling each sock to her calves, before putting her white, button-up shirt on, she took her sweet time. Being so undressed before wouldn't have bothered her, say if they'd been actively working towards a sexual situation, but to change in front of him without that, felt far more intimate to her.

"Do you need help?" He asked, watching her struggle with her hair, standing in only her white shirt, underclothes, and socks. It made his pulse race.

"Please, you're so good at it." His hands were in her hair in seconds, smoothing and lightly pulling her curls into place, making a soft bun instead of a braid this time.

"And my tie, can you help me with that as well, I've never been good with it." Facing her now, he pulled her collar up and then began tying the tie, unable to take his eyes off hers and then her mouth as she consciously bit her bottom lip. When he finished, she turned slightly to take her skirt from the armoire and put one leg in at a time, finally tucking her shirt into her underwear before turning so he could zip the back.

"Thank you, Severus." Standing on her tiptoes again, she kissed him and pulled her vest over her hair carefully, then grabbing her robes and wand. He refused to let her walk away, though.

"This somehow feels quite inappropriate, Hermione." He didn't look too dismayed, however.

'"I can see how my dress would make you feel conflicted, but I don't really have any other clean clothes and I can't very well go nude under my robes." She liked to see him a little disarmed, taken aback at her implication. It made her feel brave again, to see him visibly melt in her arms.

"Have you ever been attracted to a student?" She suddenly asked, her arms encircling his waist.

"No, never. Even when I first came here to teach, almost your age. It was about proving myself then and not finding a tart to hang on. Other professors, that is quite another story." Hermione's eyes became exceptionally wide and she knew immediately who to guess.

"Professor Sinistra?"

"How did you guess?"

"You often sit next to her at the staff table and when I first came here as a student, there seemed a certain chemistry between you. Plus, she's dark and brooding like you." She was verging on the conversation she wanted to have with him, one where she figured out what kind of woman he typically dated and how many he'd slept with, though she didn't need an exact number, she wanted a general idea.

"It was short-lived, we both had too many other demands, and she's bisexual, but you did not gain this knowledge from me."

"Kinky." Hermione laughed against him, wanting so much to push him back on her bed and show him her demands. But classes were calling her and she knew she couldn't stay much longer.

"I'd like to continue this conversation, but I must get to my classes. If you find yourself in too much pain, I brewed extra potions and left them by your bookshelf." She stood up to kiss him again and held him tightly against her.

"Let me know if you need any help getting out of those later." His voice tickled her ear, as he had in bed the day she left for Devon, forcing her to shiver.

"Certainly." One last kiss and she was out the door, her pulse still racing just thinking about his body against hers. It worried her only slightly that being inexperienced made her nervous about sex, even if she wanted him badly. She worried her naïveté would make him uncomfortable or even frustrated, but being that his nerves were still so sensitive and his graft so delicate, she knew they couldn't possibly have sex for at least three weeks. It became her new obsession, to learn as much as possible about it before she embarrassed herself.

That evening, they ate in the Great Hall, Hermione with Luna and Neville at the end of the Gryffindor table, Luna trading houses for a meal. Ginny eventually joined them, all three inquiring about her trials with the skin grafts and what her plans were if he needed another graft.

"Well, I am hoping he doesn't. I'd hate to put anyone through that pain again."

"Neville, do you think Professor Sprout will let you apprentice next year?" Ginny asked, biting into her haggis and neeps.

"She said I need approval from McGonagall, but that she would consider it carefully, so I think it'll happen." Suddenly, he looked red as Hannah Abbott walked passed, smiling at him.

"Woah, Neville, do you fancy Hannah?" Ginny joked, as Neville stuttered over his answer.

"Perhaps, but don't tell her, I haven't worked up the courage to ask her to Hogsmeade for Valentine's Day."

"That's a while off, don't you think. We're allowed to go to Hogsmeade whenever we like." Hermione interjected, looking over to Snape who was in conversation with Hagrid and Professor Flitwick.

"It might take me that long to get the courage, you know." They all laughed. "Some aren't lucky enough to be engaged to the likes of Harry, you know." He added, reminding Hermione of he when he was younger, shy and quiet, and not like the previous year when he'd practically kept Dumbledore's Army going in their absence.

"Give it a chance, Neville, I promise it's worth it to try." She finally said, looking to Snape again who was also looking at her. Finishing her pumpkin juice, she said goodnight to her friends then went to her rooms to write to Harry and Ron, who she hadn't heard from in ages. She also wrote to her parents and just as she finished, she heard a soft knock at her door, her stomach filled with butterflies as she walked towards the door. He met her with the same look from the morning, only intensifying when he saw she had already changed into her nightclothes, a long shirt and soft, cotton shorts barely meeting the hem of her shirt length.

"I was writing to my parents, come in." He followed her as she sat down at her desk trying to seal her letters, his hands in her hair taking her bun out and brushing it with her brush specifically for curls. She understood, then, why he liked her washing his hair so much; it felt incredible having someone else tend to her hair. She closed her eyes as he brushed, almost moaning as he continued.

"That should be illegal."

"Indeed." He replied, taking her hand in his and twirling her up and out of her seat, holding her against him again, then walking her over the chairs by her fireplace, pushing them closer together.

"You seem in awfully good spirits compared to this morning." Her legs stretched across to him, his hands on them as the fire crackled beside them.

"I'm not as worried now that you've assuaged me, your optimism must be rubbing off." He played with her toes, running his fingers between them, then resting his hand on her calf muscle.

"Madame Pomfrey asked me to brew some interesting potions for the weekend, did you normally brew cramp or menstrual relief and contraceptive potions for her?" Hermione teased, putting her hand on his knee.

"Every bloody week, it's the reason we have no teenage pregnancy at this school, you know. She would sometimes leave me an order for fifty or more of the contraceptive potions, but it was never enough, bloody hormonal teens."

"I had no idea, I guess I was too focused on other things." She wondered if he would take her meaning from this, but she knew it still left the vague time she was off with Harry and Ron, and the summer for her to become sexually active. It embarrassed her to be so inexperienced when he was nineteen years her senior.

"The menstrual relief potions are only sixty percent effective, unless you find another method. And there are spells for contraceptive purposes that also have better efficacy, though students won't learn about those in these walls." She'd read about them in her healing and restorative potions books, but didn't know much about the actual effectiveness. In a flash, she saw Snape with a child, one that looked remarkably like Harry but with dark eyes, and it made her wonder- would he ever want children? Did she?

"You look awfully lost in thought." His hand got her attention first, resting on her thigh, mere inches from the hem of her shorts.

"I…" But she paused, unable to just say it- that she was a virgin and completely inexperienced, aside from her vast knowledge of anatomy, specifically his. His fingers put light pressure against her thigh, awakening her senses again.

"Your skin is so soft." He admired, taking his hand and moving it from her ankle to her thigh again, noting the smile on her lips.

"Come here." He finally said, pulling her over to him, his arms wrapping her tightly as she stood like she had before, his head resting on her stomach. Everything about her was soft, so much better than his marked and blotted skin, but she loved the way he felt beneath her hands.

"I need to give you your potions and change this." She said as her hand rested near his graft, knowing he'd get quite tired once he had them. "Can you stay with me?" Hermione asked, leaving him only to get his potions and new bandage, noting that it made him look less severe when she suggested he stay. He let her change the bandage and administer the potions before taking her in his arms again, running his hands up and down her sides.

"I don't want you getting lightheaded." Hermione chided, bringing him over to her bed and throwing back the covers. Delicately, she unbuttoned his overshirt and pulled it off of him, eyeing next his pants. Sometimes he slept in his boxers and sometimes his pants.

"On or off?" Tugging at his pants, she watched his mind turn.

"Off, it's awfully warm in here tonight." Helping them fall, Hermione then sat him on the right side of her bed, so that she could snuggle against him and not affect his graft if she could. Her mind raced, she was nervous. Dimming the lights, she finally climbed in next to him, crawling under his left arm and resting her head on his chest and playing at the sleeve of his right arm, yawning as she did.

"Severus, have you been with many women?" Finally, she just asked, knowing that it was on her mind and wouldn't be fixed unless she asked.

"A far few, honestly, some through force and not because I had a choice. I don't relish those times and I certainly would never force you to do anything you didn't want to." She looked up at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. 'A far few...how many was that?' She thought, returning to his sleeve and her musings. Out of nowhere, he tipped her chin up to look at him and his ravenous eyes.

"What else?"He asked, seeing more questions on her face.

"Nothing else, at least not that I can think of right now. I can't help being curious about you, knowing so much and so little at the same time." She pulled herself up on her elbow to look more directly at him as she finished.

"Lily Evans, she was my first kiss but after her it was a series of women Voldemort felt would make a good, pureblood match, but I didn't truly care for any of them. Aurora and I had our thing for a while, several years actually until we realized it was out of necessity, a certain diversion and not because we actually cared for each other as more than colleagues and friends. Since then, I haven't had much time to focus on romantic pursuits, though there was Charity Burbage, but I'd rather not bring that up right now since you are looking so pleasant and adoringly at me." She remembered Professor Burbage, her muggle studies professor for three years and knew he'd been there when Voldemort killed her, Harry had seen it in a vision.

"I'm a virgin, Severus. Before you, no one has ever touched me, I've only kissed three people, including you, I rather didn't have much time for romantic pursuits, either." She'd said it; it was out there and it felt freeing. He didn't appear shaken or shocked by her admission, he simply leaned forward to kiss her.

"Ronald Weasley?"

"And Viktor Krum, though he tried plenty to talk me into more."

"His loss, for sure." She was thankful for his candor, for making her feel comfortable, as they both laughed. His lips met hers as she laughed, trying to keep herself from touching his neck, she let herself fall into his arms and he to lean onto her, her breasts pressed against his chest. She could've easily lost herself in his arms, the weight of his body on hers so welcome and comfortable.

"I don't know why I was so nervous to tell you." She finally said, her hands traveling to his lower back and resting on the waist of his boxers, snapping them against his skin lightly, moving her leg to wrap around his as their kiss deepened.

"Don't be nervous to tell me anything, Hermione, I welcome your curiosity and questions, as I know there will always be questions." She snapped his underwear harder that time, then felt his hand travel over her breast, grabbing more than just a little on the side, but she could see the hazy look in his eye, the potions setting in.

"You won't have to worry about being deflowered any time soon, my girl, these blasted potions." She helped roll him onto his back.

"I am not worried about being deflowered, as you say. My only concern is living up to these other women, who probably had far more experience than I do." He stilled her, holding her with his hands at her shoulders.

"Do not compare yourself to them; you are more important and valuable to me, even if you grind my nerves on a daily basis."

"Just when I think you're actually going to say something sweet. Fine, Severus, I will tuck my concerns away and hope that when you get to the deflowering, my lack of experience won't embarrass me and allow you to make fun for the rest of our days." She prodded him, her hair falling into his face slightly as she did.

"Goodnight, Severus." She swooped down to kiss him one last time and then moved to her side of the bed, but he reached for her as soon as she did, pulling her over to him and spooning. If she hadn't needed to brew that weekend, she couldn't stayed in that exact spot for the remainder of her time and been quite happy.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I own nothing you recognize!

Chapter 9

A happy balance formed between the them and their rooms as they continued to work together in brewing potions and building their relationship. Snape could now stand and walk completely unaided, and required half the dosage of his pain medicines as he'd had before. On nights when she had class the next day, they generally spent the night in her rooms, then in his for the other nights, unless there was an emergency in the hospital wing or on the grounds. It was a peaceful and pleasant existence, though the looming Governor's hearing did hang over them, Hermione knew with their testimony and his official clearing by the Ministry, it would be fine. When Valentine's Day drew near, she wondered if he fancied himself romantic enough to celebrate, but she didn't dwell on it. Her second to last practicals were the day of Valentine's Day, so she didn't consider it much.

Finally through with her practicals for the day, Hermione decided to change from her apron and walk to the Astronomy tower, trying to decompress after her hard week of studying and brewing, her NEWT texts still waiting for the same attention. When she finally made it to the top, she saw the moon was full and everything below her illuminated. It didn't feel quite as cold as the last time she'd been up there, but she did get a chill, which coursed through her quickly. Still, it was so peaceful up there, so quiet and calm compared to her life downstairs. After staying for an hour or so, she walked back down the stairs, her head light and her heart swimming, she wondered how things had changed so dramatically since May.

Knocking on his door, she heard him welcome her in and found him at his desk, an odd sight. He normally worked while she was gone. Coming to his side, she kissed his right cheek, and found him happy to see her.

"You're in good spirits." She remarked, removing her robes and finding a seat next to his warm fire, toasting her toes as she stretched them out.

"You're ice cold." His hands found her neck and shoulders, feeling the chill from the Astronomy Tower. He brought her onto his lap, covering them both with a cashmere blanket, sitting comfortably in front of the fire. She checked his neck quickly before allowing herself to get too cozy.

"It looks well enough to leave off again tonight." He nodded and held her tight, one of his hands resting on her legs curled up against her and the other in her hair.

"Are you going to tell me why you're so pleased?"

"Shacklebolt has written, the Governors have cleared me already, something about a series of strongly worded letters and several visits from professors here and Ministry employees, including Arthur Weasley." She hopped a bit against him, so ecstatic she couldn't stop kissing him.

"See, I told you." Coming to face him, her legs on top of his, she kissed him hard and held him tight.

"You were right, of course." He pushed a few strands of hair from her face, staring deeply into her eyes. "Thank you." He whispered, catching her mouth with his.

"Whatever for?" His eyes thinned and he looked severe for a second, making her laugh.

"You wrote a letter, I'm sure and in general, for being optimistic enough for both of us."

"I wrote ten, actually, and perhaps encouraged some Order members to as well. But the optimism is all mine." It struck her suddenly that most of the time he was still himself, surly and severe, but when he was happy, when the sarcasm and irritability melted away, he was different, a person she never imagined he could be. For the first time in her entire knowledge of him, he looked so happy he could cry. Truly, he shocked her.

"What have I done to deserve you?" He asked rhetorically, kissing her collarbone and moving her hair completely behind her shoulders. She felt him then, against her, her own body responding in kind to his hands traveling all over her.

"I could ask the same, you know."

"Yes, what have you done to deserve an old man who often snaps at you in the morning." She pushed herself forward a bit, grabbing his shoulder for balance and forced him to look at her, her hand wrapped tightly around his chin.

"You don't seem like an old man to me, especially not right now, Severus." She hissed his name, removing her shirt as she released him. She felt him harden against her before, especially as they slept, but not quite like this, and certainly not as his hands went beneath her skirt, grabbing her arse and pulling her down hard on him.

"Bloody hell, you're beautiful." She backed off of him and took his hand, leading him to his bed, her breast shaking slightly as she crawled on, almost escaping as she kneeled, waiting. He found her mouth again, his hands unfastening her bra and slipping it off, she didn't have time or awareness behind her desire for him to feel any embarrassment.

"You've entirely too many clothes on." She said, unbuttoning his shirt and removing it, focusing next on his pants. His hands slowly pushed her back, pulling her skirt and underwear off, finding them both completely nude, together, for the first time. She felt herself blush momentarily, but he dimmed the lights and continued his attentions, her skin still quite cool to touch.

"Now you've seen everything, we're even."

"We're hardly even, you had five months of my nudity, it's only fair I get the same." Her laugh made his pulse quicken, her breast bouncing as she came up on her elbows, and kissing him. She couldn't have asked for a better evening.

"Fine, if I must, but can you wash my hair, too?" He moved between her legs then, resting against her for the time.

"Anything else? Your demands grow laboriously more difficult by the day."

"Nothing else, just you." And they were both pushed over the edge, her nervousness and fear completely gone as she finally gave herself to him, all of herself. She was sure, even before they'd finally had sex and she knew him on another level, that she loved him, more than she'd even thought before and that was more frightening than losing her virginity to him. If he walked away now, the heartbreak would be so real she didn't know if she could handle it.

Hours later, Hermione woke first, still wrapped in his arms as she listened to his light breathing. She was sore but not nearly as much as she thought she'd be, mostly she was just happy to be in his bed and his arms.

"Good morning." He vibrated against her, his deep bass making her body tingle as usual.

"Good morning to you, Severus. I wish I didn't have class today, I'd stay here with you all day." She pushed back against him, her butt teasing him as she did.

"You're in dangerous territory there, I might hold you here against your will."

"Is that a promise?" He stretched against her and grabbed her breast, trailing his hand down further to her pelvic bone.

"As if I could keep you from studying." She rolled to face him and kissed his cheeks and mouth.

"Shower with me?" Hermione held out her hand and he took it, following her to his washroom.

"Where do you buy this shampoo? It's smells so good."

"It's always sort of been what I use here, the elves gave it to me." He lathered her hair as the water warned them, finally able to enjoy a shower together now that his graft had completely taken and healed.

"After classes today, I'm going to brew for Poppy and then I need to write an essay for Professor Sinistra. Will you be around at dinner?"

"Actually, I was thinking of walking to Hogsmeade tonight, would you care to join me?" Her eyes lit up as he helped rinse her hair.

"Of course!" Was this a date, an actual date? He kissed her wet lips and dipped so she could wash his hair, his favorite part of any day.

Toweling off, Hermione put on her robes and checked the hallway before going to her rooms.

"See you later." With a quick kiss, she was gone, behind her door and getting ready for the day. He couldn't remember a time in his life, aside from young childhood, before things had gotten complicated, when he'd been so content.

He met her at the gates and they walked in general conversation about the day, Hermione's classes were typical except that Slughorn assigned and extra essay and requested she fine with the new version of his Slug Club the following week.

"He's rather attached to his star pupil, can you blame him?" Snape joked, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"I thought you were his star pupil, he talks of you often enough." Cuddling against him as they walked passed the Owl Post, seeing their reflection in the window she thought to herself, it was their first public, non-Hogwarts outing. Eating at the Three Broomsticks was as public as they could get, but she didn't mind one bit, as long as he didn't suddenly change.

"I haven't been here in ages." She said as they sat down, her chair scraping as she pulled it to the table.

"It used to be my only reprieve from incessant student demands. I picked today because they serve an excellent herbed chicken with roasted potatoes." Their drinks came, white wine for Hermione and red for Snape, his first alcohol in almost a year.

"You better pace yourself, that much alcohol might make you behave oddly." She sipped her wine, feeling the tingle in her toes as she did. He tapped his fingers on the table, waiting for their dinner to arrive. Buttering a roll, she offered half to him and started in on the new class Minerva wanted her to teach.

"So basically, it will be an advanced potions class with healing techniques for those who may struggle with NEWT level potions or those who plan to pursue healing after Hogwarts." Her face was animated, any time she talked about anything she had a passion for, especially when it came to academics, and he loved it.

"So you're planning to stay?" He asked as she finished, finally eating her roll.

"Yes, I believe so. I know Shacklebolt will be disappointed, he wrote me last week about a training opportunity to work with law enforcement, but I'm not ready to put myself in that position quite yet. He's just awfully persistent." A vague jealousy passed across his face, but Hermione missed it, charging through with more information about her class.

"Would you be willing to help me with the practical aspects of teaching? I've never planned lessons or dealt with students, besides Dumbledore's Army."

"Of course, though you'll find I have no patience for the kind of 'fun activities' Minerva and Pomona often plan for their students. Thankfully, we'll have sixth and seventh years and far fewer accidents." Their food arrived, giving Hermione a moment to think about the logistics of the following year, he would be taking over house duties again and teaching upper level defense, far busier than she would be.

"Will you move back to the dungeons?" She asked, taking a potato and popping it in her mouth.

"I hadn't put much thought to it, but I would need to be nearer to my house." The sigh at the end of his sentence making her sad for a moment; it would be odd not being across the hall from him, or able to crawl next to him whenever she liked.

"I hadn't thought about that."

"Our floos would connect and beyond that, you'll be a professor, able to walk the halls whenever you please, including to my rooms."

"Good, I'm not sleeping alone unless you bar me from your rooms." He stilled his fork and knife, reaching across to her and taking her hand.

"Nothing has to change, and I'm certainly not going to bar you from my rooms." They finished their splendid meal and walked to Honeydukes, she wanted some fizzing whizbees and a chocolate frog. Coming around a corner, she saw Professors Slughorn and Sinistra walk past, heading towards Hogshead.

"Did you see that?" Hermione asked, grabbing his arm. She leaned out the door and saw them go in. "Good for them."

"What?"

"Slughorn and Sinistra, they just went into Hogshead, now that's an age difference, nineteen years has nothing on that one." He smirked, leaning out the door with her. She paid for the treats and they linked arms, walking back to the castle.

"Guess we won't be the castle gossip any longer." He finally said as they entered the castle, taking the steps up to their rooms. She felt shy for a moment as they walked together, thinking about the night before and even their shower that morning. He opened her door for her and followed her in, removing his heavy robes and taking a seat in her chair.

"Thank you for dinner." She said, wrapping her arms around him as they stared at the fire, her chin on his shoulder.

"I look forward to many more dinners with you, Hermione."

"Do you want some wine?" He nodded as she also removed her robes, taking her sweater off and stockings, pouring their wine and finding a book from her shelf.

"Only one glass, you'll need your potions."

"Bloody taskmaster, maybe I should bar you from my rooms, maybe then I can have a third glass of wine." Hermione tossed her stockings at him and returned to her book. He enjoyed the view and sipped his wine; she was right of course, the wine was already making his mind fuzzy. Each time he looked to her, her face scrunched as she read words, her mouth moving every couple of sentences, he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and hold her all night. When had he become this person? Almost dying had truly altered his worldview; he didn't want to be alone any longer, especially now that he'd found someone who tolerated and even enjoyed his sarcasm and even gave it back to him. His life was no longer in danger at the command of a madman, he could make his down decisions, but he didn't want to do that alone. She felt him staring at her, so she put her book down and met his stare.

"Come here." He motioned her over, uncrossing his legs, and putting his hand out.

"Has the wine made you ill, you look incredibly relaxed?" Curling into his arms, kissing his lips as she did, and finding herself perfectly comfortable on his lap, her blanket wrapped around them.

"I've been a fool, so many times, losing friends and people I cared about. I don't want to do the same with you. Every person I've ever loved, aside from Minerva, has died. It makes one entirely too self-sufficient and self-involved." Severus' words surprised Hermione, he was rarely so verbose on the matter of their mutual affection.

"You know I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Of course I didn't plan on loving you and you certainly didn't make it easy, but it's hard for me to imagine my future without you." His hands brought her face to his again.

"Maybe...maybe we should consider making things more permanent before school is in session again?" She pulled away from him, was he serious? Was he implying that they should be married?

"You really don't do things by halves, do you?" She wanted to agree, to say that in six months, August before school resumes they could be wed, but she wanted him to be sure. He hadn't had the time she'd had to fall for him, and his earlier indecision made her slightly worried he'd change his mind. But when she looked to him, he hadn't laughed or sneered, simply stared at her hand then into her eyes.

"You really are serious." She finally added, noting the severe but passionate look in his eyes, as he kissed her hand.

"When you know, you know. No sense in delaying our match, unless you are of a different mind." He toyed with the collar of her shirt, running his fingers along the hem and then wrapping it around her neck.

"If you're sure, I don't want you to come to me when I finally take my NEWTs and finish my apprenticeship, saying some of the things you did before. Especially since I've made up my mind to stay here, it would truly be unbearable to see you around here and not be able to be near you like this." His eyes narrowed again, apparently disliking the implication that his feelings were so transmutable. Pausing for only a second, he reached into the pocket of his dark vest and produced a ring, a fine ring with an opal in the middle, surrounded by stones of varying colors and a diamonds.

"This was my mother's ring and though they made an unhappy match, he loved her when he gave it to her, and I love you, and want you to have it." She could see the seriousness now on his face, his longing for her to say yes and agree to marry him. It was a devotion she'd longed for and one with him she never imagined possible. Taking her hand in his, he slipped it on her ring finger, sizing it to fit her perfectly.

"That's if you'll have me." She was speechless, her mind wandering in so many directions. This was the last thing she expected when he'd asked her to go to Hogsmeade that evening. Her eyes misted as she stared between the ring on her finger and then at him, unable to form words. She launched herself at him, trying to avoid his neck but hugging him so tightly she squeezed his breath out.

"I take it you agree?"

"Of course, I would be honored to be your wife, Severus." He scooped her up and made love to her again, pausing only for his last dose of potions for the night and then finding himself lost in her embrace once more.

"It'll be lovely here in August, do you think Minerva would let us marry here?" Hermione asked, stroking his chest and staring at her ring.

"I don't see it as a problem, she has conceded to worse things." Her smile warmed him again.

"Now I just have to tell my parents, and Harry and Ron. No doubt my parents will take it better than the other two."

"Gods, I forgot about those two." She laughed against him, thinking that Harry would certainly take it better than Ron since he already knew of her attraction. Her parents, on the other hand, had only a hint of her affections for her former professor.

"We have plenty of time for planning and details, I'm rather sleepy tonight." She finally said yawning and putting out the lights, pulling the covers over her shoulder and kissing him softly. "Goodnight, Severus."


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Thank you for reading and for all those who reviewed! I had sort of a cathartic experience writing this story, and it is still serving to right me.

This is the last chapter. I own nothing you recognize.

Chapter 10

The remainder of the semester passed with little incident. Minerva was happy for them, as were most people they told. She received a curt reply from Ron but happy congratulations from Harry, Ginny as excited for her in person. They planned to visit her parents when the term was over, NEWTs taken and her last practical finished. Before she finished her exams, she helped him move their belongings to their new quarters in the dungeons, surprisingly more comfortable than she imagined they'd be. It felt remarkably more real that they'd return to Hogwarts married when she saw their wardrobes next to each other, her night table with her books across from his, their new lounge and chairs outfitted in front of the fire. They even had a study with two desks and another comfy lounger, perfect for grading, and another room for brewing, since they'd both be needed to fulfill orders once school started again.

Madame Pomfrey presented her with new robes once her practical was completed and her apprenticeship completed. It felt like such a relief when she finally got her final scores, though she knew she'd have to wait for her NEWTs until the end of July. That summer, she planned to travel between 12 Grimmauld Place and Spinner's End, helping Severus set it up for when they had vacation time. Harry had graciously extended his invitation to Severus, but the first week they were out, he was reluctant to go to the old safe house, not anxious to see former students or deal with the immaturity he expected from Ron Weasley, but Hermione promised him Ron would behave. Her parents came at the end of the first week, meeting them first at a quaint restaurant not far from the house and then they walked back.

"So your family is from Cokeworth? That's on the coast, right?" Jack Granger noted as they walked back to Grimmauld Place, all in muggle clothes. Hermione rather liked Severus in a pair of tan khakis and a jumper, he looked remarkably normal.

"Yes, old mill town. My grandparents' home is still there and my own, though I don't visit very often."

"Didn't you say Harry's mother was from there, too, darling? I seem to recall that in a letter." Helen remarked, as they continued down the cobblestone sidewalk.

"Yes, Mum, Lily was Severus' friend growing up."

"Well that's rather lovely. And you'll live there again once things are settled?" She added, noting that Severus looked rather uncomfortable.

"When we're on holiday or during the summer. I'll make sure to send you the address, it's a fairly easy drive from London." Hermione patted Severus' arm as they reached the stairs for Harry's home.

"It's been a very nice evening, thank you for meeting us, Severus. Hermione, don't forget we're going dress shopping next week, and bring your friend Ginny with you and Luna, too, they seemed rather excited about it earlier." Hermione rolled her eyes, she wanted a simple and moderate dress, nothing fancy, but she worried her mother would take over and she'd find herself tucked into years of lace.

"Of course." Hermione kissed them both and hugged them, Severus extended his hand to shake Jack's and was surprised by a hug from both of them.

"We're huggers, but I'm sure Mynee has explained that already." 'Mynee?' Severus mouthed to her.

"Goodnight, we'll see you soon." She kissed and hugged them both again before they got into their car and drove off.

"That went tolerably well." Severus said as the door finally appeared and they entered, hearing a very loud shouting match from the kitchen. Harry was arguing with Ron over something, but Hermione did not want to get involved. She hesitated on the step up to their room, and finally lost her resolved.

"I'll be up in a minute." She stepped up and kissed him, her hand gently tugging at his.

"What the hell?" She heard Ron yell as she crossed the threshold into the kitchen. He was beet red and so was Harry.

"We're back." She took an apple from the bowl and started to eat, her stomach not quite full from dinner.

"What is going on?"

"Ron has decided to quit school to help George, which…I get that you want to help your brother, but you will have wasted an entire year. We don't have NEWTs to fall back on, Ron, if that shop fails you will no prospects." Harry yelled, annoyed with his friend and tired.

"He has a point, Ron. Why not finish school, you only have another year. George has your parents and Ginny, now." But he cut her off.

"No one asked for your opinion, Hermione. Why don't you scamper up the stairs to your black bat and leave the adults to discuss their lives." If she hadn't been so blissfully happy from her dinner with her parents, she would've been prepared to be much more sinister to him, but she stilled herself for a moment before launching at him.

"Ron, that is seriously uncalled for...Snape saved us, without him we never would've found the sword, he saved me and you. Leave it."

"So it's okay then, for him to be hanging all over her, because he saved us? When I said we'd cool things, I never thought you'd rush into something with the likes of him." Hermione lost her resolve.

"That's right, Ron, you cooled things, and then met your own match. I didn't immediately launch myself into anything, and don't blame me for finding someone with substance who cares about me for more than what I can do for him, and loves me for all the things you don't. Listen to Harry, stop being so stubborn." Ron flashed red, then walked from the kitchen, leaving Hermione and Harry alone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize he would bring Snape into this."

"Don't apologize for him, Harry, he's bitter and unsure of himself. He'll find his way." She gave him a hug and went up the stairs, her blood boiling with each step. Before she reached the third floor, she heard Ron behind her, stomping up the stairs.

"You'll regret marrying him, I know it." He said, stepping harder on each step.

"Fine, Ron, make this worse. I won't regret marrying him. Just leave it." But he grabbed her arm, hard and tight, pushing her against the bannister, bruising her lower back as he did.

"He doesn't deserve you." His thumb dug deeper and deeper into her arm, forcing her to cry out.

"Stop it, Ron, you are going too far." He finally released her, an embarrassed look filling his face. In seconds, she was up the stairs, shoving herself through the door in tears and finding Severus on the sofa, his arms holding a paper, immediately angry at the sight of her distress. Wiping her eyes, he let her calm down before asking questions, noting the bright red mark on her arm.

"He's quitting auror school, Ron, and he was angry because Harry doesn't think it's a good choice. I shouldn't have gotten involved." Snape surveyed her arm and lower back.

"Sit here, I'll tend this." He cast a healing spell on her arm and lower back, trying to calm his temper and stop himself from hexing the young man.

"I was too optimistic about being here and Ron being able to be civil. His pride gets wounded so easily."

"You're his friend, it's understandable that you want to see the best in him." Her lips found his and she felt better.

"Mum and Dad seemed to like you a lot, not that they have a choice." Her laugh brought one from him, as he helped her from her jumper, taking another kiss as he did.

"You did not, in fact, warn me they were huggers, though."

"Oops." They curled up together on the sofa as Severus finished reading the paper and Hermione read a book on practical healing for her new class. The incident with Ron forgotten for the moment, both went about their evening as normal and found that he had left by the morning, making breakfast far more enjoyable with Harry, Neville, and Ginny. Hermione knew Severus was leaving for Spinner's End that afternoon, so she made sure to enjoy their time together as she wouldn't see him until after her dress was picked.

"Owl we if you need anything, I'll be waiting for you." He said, kissing her and stepping into the garden to apparate.

"I love you, nothing too strenuous while I'm not there." He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, ma'am." She kissed him one last time and walked back into the house, so ready to have the fiasco of dress buying and wedding preparations over with.

August came quickly, Hermione felt the stress of the wedding ease after she received her NEWT scores and final assessment from the Board of Mediwitches and Wizards, she was a fully licensed healer and now assistant professor, her supply information sent to Minerva before arriving for the wedding at Hogwarts. They agreed upon a simple ceremony and only invited a handful of guests who impacted their lives or were family. Hermione's dress did have lace, but was simple compared to the one her mother had wanted. Ginny stood as her witness and Harry as Snape's, Minerva actually performing the ceremony. When they kissed and then walked hand in hand back to the Great Hall for their wedding feast, Hermione couldn't stop herself from crying.

"I don't want people thinking I've forced you into this." He laughed, wiping her eyes as they entered the hall, married.

"I can't help it if I cry, you have to put up with my tears forever now." They kissed again before sitting with their guests, all toasting them before digging into the meal prepared expertly by the elves. Hermione looked around the room, her parents and friends present, professors she'd felt like had become family after all the years together.

"You're next." She whispered to Harry, who beamed at Ginny across the table, her lovely lavender dress making her eyes glow.

"Christmas, we want to make sure everyone can attend." They'd finally set a date.

"I cannot wait, I'm sure it will be beautiful." She remarked, drinking her wine and putting her arm around Severus' waist, catching his eye again.

"Last year at this time, I was desperate for you to wake up, I spent night and day tending to you. I'm so glad you did, you know." Her lips caught his, before he could reply. She sipped her wine again before eating another bite.

"As am I, you know."

When all the food vanished and guests departed, Hermione followed Severus to their new quarters in the dungeons and gave herself to him, as his wife. They planned on leaving for their honeymoon to Italy the following day, but she couldn't let the night pass without getting to be so close to him.

"Goodnight, husband." She sighed, snuggling against him, his arm draped across her stomach. He kissed her once more and closed his own eyes, thankful to sleep next to her and to have a second chance, one he never believed he would have. He didn't know how long they'd work at Hogwarts or if she would eventually go to the Ministry, but he just wanted to make those choices together, to finally admit he wanted someone else to make those kind of decisions with. When he'd entered the Shrieking Shack the year before, knowing that Voldemort would most likely kill him, he would never imagined that waking up from that terror would include her, the embodiment of his love. He never wanted to part from her.


End file.
